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November 13, 2018

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7 Questions To Ask During NaNoWriMo [especially if it’s tough and before you gut yourself for how bad it’s going wordcount wise]

Day thirteen of NaNoWriMo.

For the peasants (aka: regular people) who don’t know, NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month—an event that now spans the globe as writers from all walks of life and stages in the writing journey attempt to write a whole new novel in one month (or, at the very least, 50,000 words in one month).

This is my third and worst NaNo. Last year, I wrote the first draft of False Gods during NaNoWriMo, and it seemed like I had struck a healthy balance of imbalance (trust me, that will make sense in a moment I hope).

Some days I would write 8,000 words in a day. And sometimes I’d write only 17. I wanted to write that story so badly, was so ready to get it rolling. I never felt burned out of it or uninterested in it; some days there was just too much going on in the rest of life and I was fine with writing very little. Other days it just sort of exploded.

‘Tis not so with NaNoWriMo 2018.

In case I’m not the only one having trouble, here are seven questions to ask yourself during NaNo, especially if the going is rough.

 

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I. Have you picked the right story?

Maybe your idea isn’t ripe yet. Perhaps it needs to simmer for a while longer. This leaves you with a few options.

You can A) try to finish the story anyway, but I warn against this because while art requires discipline, it isn’t something you can force.

B) Try writing another novel, but you probably shouldn’t expect to finish this new one before the end of the month unless you generally draft a novel in just a few days.

C) Write some short stories instead, contributing those words to your NaNo wordcount.

D) Don’t finish NaNo. This is actually fine. It sounds like a sin for some reason (probably because we writers are a bit obsessed), but the world won’t end, my friends.

E) Continue working on the story at a much slower rate, one that allows the idea to grow.

II. How much time are you spending on social media?

For me, the answer is usually way too much. I have grand plans of cutting myself off from social media, but alas they never seem to come to fruition. My copy of Deep Work glares at me from the bookshelf. (Oh, right. I’m writing a blog post about that book, aren’t I?)

However, all of my writer friends live far away, and we connect most easily on social media. So for word wars and encouragement and such, social media is incredibly helpful.

But. Alas. It’s so easy to get pulled into the scrolling quicksand. And then all sorts of life-sucking things like comparison, zoning out, etc. creep in and… ahem, suck the life out of you.

I’ve found that lack of creativity is often directly related to a surplus of time spent in the depths of social media. So if you’re feeling drained, uninspired, depressed, or all of the above, maybe take a break from your social medias for a few days. Or limit your time to fifteen minutes to see if that helps.

III. Are you starving yourself creatively?

Sometimes I get into this rut where I think if I’m working on a story, I can’t enjoy other people’s stories. As if I don’t have the time right now or I’ll reward myself with a book or movie after NaNo is over.

Typically, this starves me.

Reading is one of the most relaxing and rejuvenating things for my imagination, and movies provide a break to simply take in a story visually. When I read for even just a half hour, my creative blood flows more easily.

Perhaps you’re like me. Maybe you need story input in order to have story output at a high rate.

IV. Are you feeding yourself the wrong brand/genre of creative food?

Are you reading/watching/drawing a bunch of things that get your mind exploding in a different genre?

Variety is important in a creative’s diet, but sometimes—like when you’re drafting a new novel–it’s important and helpful to guard your imagination from the wrong genre of inspiration. There are some stories that you know ignite your imagination for a certain brand of story.

The Lord of the Rings will never not inspire me to write epic fantasy.

Dracula will (apparently) never not inspire me to write a steampunk vampire story that’s basically just a fan fiction of Dracula. (Seriously, guys. I have been blown away by Dracula. I was expecting to not like it, but I think it’s better than Frankenstein and The Picture of Dorian Grey combined.)

The Lion King will never not inspire me to work on False Gods.

The new Star Trek movies (as wild and crazy and sloppy as they can be) will never not inspire me to get to work in the Stars and Soul storyworld (which also happens to be the same storyworld as my NaNo novel this year).

So consume the stories that jumpstart your creativity for this NaNo story. Know the music, books, and movies that make you squirm to create something in the genre of your NaNo novel… because then, hopefully, it will give you more energy to create your NaNo novel.

V. What else is going on in your life that affects your art?

Are you in college? Studying for exams? Preparing to move? Settling in after a move? Working extra hours? Taking care of a newborn? Remodeling the house?

For me, the things that are affecting me the most are my upcoming move to Texas, all the things I want/need to do/say before I make the move, and the release for Stars and Soul (November 20, my dudes).

Stories have always been a sort of refuge for me, and in the past I’ve viewed writing as a sort of refuge, blocked out from the rest of the world. But I know now that my writing is intimately tied to the rest of my life.

If this NaNo is hard, don’t beat yourself up for it. Take a step back to see what in this season of your life is affecting you. It’s important to remember that you are not the same person you were last November. Your life is not the same it was last November. And your life will not be the same next November.

Don’t expect to create in the same way, with the same speed, with the same ease as you have in the past.

VI. And what about God?

Is your relationship with God—the time and attention and desire—suffering because of NaNoWriMo?

Are you writing with God, or are you going at it alone? Are you making time for Bible reading, personal worship, and prayer? Or are those spiritual disciplines—the lifeblood of our relationship with God—getting axed? And it likely isn’t that you don’t want to be steadfast with God; it’s just that work, school, writing, sleeping, etc. quickly crowd those disciplines out.

It is so easy for the glittering, heavily caffeinated fun of NaNo and the new novel and the word wars and the Pinterest board and these characters to silently, deftly, speedily displace Jesus in our minds and hearts.

So think about this question. Dwell on it. Pray about it. Don’t shy away from God or your own heart. Be honest.

Or maybe things have never been better with God. In which case, savor him.

VII. Do you have to draft a new story this month? What is motivating you?

I.e. – why are you doing NaNo? Is it because you’ve always done it? Is it a matter of writer pride? Something all the other writers talk about that you wanted to try? Because you have a story that just needs to be written?

Check your heart. It’s not that any of these are bad reasons to do NaNo. It’s just that it’s okay to not write a new story this month.

Basically, even if NaNo isn’t going as you imagined it would, and you see your friends splattering their 40,000 words all over social media, it’s okay. It. is. okay.

Your life is not writing. Your identity is not writing. You’re no less a writer if you don’t finish your novel this month. You’re no less a writer if you don’t write 50,000 words this month.

And maybe not finishing NaNo is failure.

I won’t say that it isn’t because your definition of failure depends on your definition of success. For some, not finishing NaNo will be failure. In which case, good because it needn’t be a bitter failure. Better for it be a failure that teaches you your weaknesses and limitations rather than it be a “success” that leaves you stress-ridden, depressed, snappy, and unfocused on what will always matter (i.e. – God and other people).

This NaNo’s been tough for me. At the time of this post writing, I’m little over 8,000 words for the month (I should be at 20,000). I’ve gotten stressed about it (surprise, surprise), and I need to daily take a step back and ask myself these questions. Especially those last three.

If you’re doing NaNo and it isn’t going well and you’re stressed, hopefully these questions will help you work through some of that stress.

So, friends. Are you doing NaNo? How is it going? What are your thoughts/advice for when NaNo is tough?

With love,

Rosalie

p.s. – people have asked to see the Stars and Soul Pinterest board. You, my friends, are going to get the link first. <3

p.p.s. – yeah, no High Command memo went out last week. It’s just one of those things that may not happen again until I’m in Texas.

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October 16, 2018

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When Inspiration Doesn’t Strike

*insert swanky post preface that gets you jazzed for the rest of this post*

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I considered announcing that I would be taking the rest of 2018 off when it comes to blogging. In other words, I’d quit Penprints until January 2019.

Because by January 2019, life will have settled down.

Or so I told myself as I looked at my list of blog post ideas with no interest in any of them (no, not even that Deep Work one I keep saying I want to write).

Here’s the deal. I know life will not “settle down” by January 2019. In fact, in lots of ways, it will be crazier than ever.

So why would I quit blogging for two and a half months?

Because I’m tired. Because my creativity is dwindling, and I want to channel what creativity I have to my novel-writing. Because I’m not inspired.

My life is not super hectic right now. There are occasional flares of craziness, but overall, it isn’t too stressful (but as we all know, my stress threshold is not high). The issue is a mixture of being lazy, mentally and emotionally burned out, and creatively worn out.

I’ve been on the edge of burnout on all fronts all year.

Jesus has been very gracious to me, and he’s arranged for events, trips, and people to be like defibrillators to me. He has been very good to me, so this isn’t a complaint against him. This is just honesty about how I’ve been fumbling around trying to figure out if I’m doing too much or not enough.

I know that a lot of it is my fault—it is me not being wise with my time, it is me sometimes simply not doing the work because I don’t want to (on all the theaters of war here, people—intense Bible study, my novels, my relationships, etc.), it is me digging myself deeper into a hole.

I’ve just not been feeling it. And by “it” I mean inspiration. It has not been striking, and so I haven’t been doing as much doing.

Creative work is tricky—you can’t force or fake it, and sometimes you do have to quit for a bit to rest and recuperate. Usually, however, you still have enough energy to create something. Usually, the creativity isn’t the problem. Usually, inspiration is the problem.

Inspiration is as reliable as feelings, friends (which, in case you weren’t sure, are super unreliable). That’s all there is to it.

Inspiration comes. And then inspiration goes. And then inspiration goes missing. And then inspiration is presumed dead. And then suddenly, inspiration has a resurrection. But then inspiration might run away to join the circus.

And where does that leave us? Without inspiration.

The big question is: what will we do when inspiration does not strike?

Will we do a rain dance, hoping it will return? Will we scroll through Pinterest for an hour searching for it? Will we take a nap to escape the reality that it might never come back? Will we let a blank screen crush the life out of us?

Do we quit the blog for two months? Do we shelve the novel until further notice? Do we close the sketchbook for weeks? Do we leave the song unfinished?

Do we take a break? Push it off until tomorrow? Take the path of least resistance?

Or, will we keep going, inspiration or not?

Here’s the deal: forget inspiration.

Just screw it. Screw feelings too, for that matter. Forget hype and positivity.

Life is chaos. It will never “settle down.”

Inspiration is flaky. We will never nail it down.

When life is chaos, do it anyway. When inspiration doesn’t strike, do it anyway. When you’re tired, do it anyway. When you want to be lazy, do it anyway. When your emotions are on a loop, do it anyway.

Exercise wisdom about what is important. Exercise wisdom in when you actually need breaks. (And if you don’t have wisdom, start walking with the wise and get wisdom.)

But, as a general rule, do it anyway.

Write the book. Craft the blog post. Paint the picture. Hang the drywall. Edit the story. Finish the song. Draw the comic.

Carve out the time to cultivate your creativity, but do not bow to inspiration.

I write this post because I have been working on the second draft of False Gods since April, and I’m not even halfway through it.

April, people. April.

In case you didn’t read that right: APRIL.

Part of this because I am simply slow. Part of it is because it’s taken this long to get some things ironed out/developed in my head. And part of it is because I’ve waited for inspiration to show up instead of cultivating discipline and creativity.

So here I am with fifteen days until NaNoWriMo, not sure if I’ll be drafting something new or working on what I drafted during NaNoWriMo 2017.

What do you do when inspiration doesn’t strike? Do you find you are emotion/inspiration-driven? Or are you discipline/logic-driven?

With love,

Rosalie

p.s. – a post about cultivating creativity is coming to a Penprints near you in the near future.

p.p.s. – if you haven’t already signed up for the cover reveal of my sci-fi flash fiction collection (Stars and Soul), there’s still time!

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September 11, 2018

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My Dear Future, [an open letter]

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My Dear Future,

I do not know what you hold. You are the great unknown. You strike fear into my heart. I lose sleep. I bite my fingernails to nothing.

People ask me questions about you. I hate it when they do because then I must admit that I simply do not know you, my own dearest, daunting Future.

You are the next three days.

You are the next three months.

You are the next three years.

You are the next three decades.

Oh, my dear Future. I see so many painful inevitabilities. I see in you unexpected death, broken relationships, rejections, heartache, tears, confusion, new failings, and goodbyes that will break me.

And what is still more frightening is the knowledge that you, my dear Future, quickly become my Present. In what seems like a single pulse of my heart, tomorrow will become today, and next year will become this year.

I will make goals that I will not meet. I will let relationships dissolve. I will watch people I once knew grow and change from a distance. I will make promises only to break them. I will start days with joy and singing and end them with silence.

But I try to put on a smile when it comes to you, my dear Future. I make my plans, answer the questions that just won’t stop, and pretend I know what this whole thing is about.

I don’t know how to talk about you, my fear-drenched Future. I don’t know how to ask for help, am terrified to show weakness, for it seems that once people realize just how much I don’t know, there will be blood in the water. I fear rumors and raised-eyebrows and being seen for what I really am.

But now I see how I’ve gotten this all so wrong. I see that I’ve been following the wrong stars in my thinking. It is, as it turns out, ridiculously simple (but then I am often ridiculously slow).

Here it is: you, my dear Future, are not about me.

My Savior King is the centerpiece, the end of you, the sum of you, my dear Future.

And the fear I have for you, my dear Future, is treason. The fear I have for you—the kind that changes the way I think and make decisions all on an axis of self—should not belong to you. My Savior King is the only One with a rightful claim to my fear, my attention, my decision-making—all on an axis of Jesus.

In so many ways, you are unknown, my dear Future. Unknown to me. But not to my Savior King. And when I am afraid, I can trust in him, can remember who he is. Because my Savior King is the Most High God, the Lord of hosts, King Jesus.

And you, oh Future, hold only my good and his glory.

One day, someday in you, my dear Future, he will return in his glory, and on that day, he will be known as God and King in all the earth.

That day seems so far off, but it is the most real thing I know of you, my dear Future. And it is that one known, promised day that must define every breath drawn into my lungs.

The goals for my near future—the days leading up to my Savior King’s return—are all at once fuzzy and in sharp focus: love God; love people; worship; make disciples; magnify my Maker.

These are my next three days.

These are my next three months.

These are my next three decades.

These are the rest of my life.

And, no, my dear Future, I don’t know what that will always look like—where or with whom. And, yes, I know I will make many mistakes. But I am by no means significant enough or powerful enough to derail the plans of my Savior King.

And when the goodbyes break me, he will lift my head. And when I fail in new ways and all the old ways too, he will pick me up and remind me that his grace covers me. And when relationships fall apart, he will tell me that love covers all offenses.

And, yes, dear Future, I am still afraid of you, but my Savior King does not condemn me for even this treason.

Instead, every day, bit by bit, he calls me to grow more and more confident in him. Every day he gives me what I need to walk on water until one day I will look at you, my dear Future, with no fear or dread. I will be treasonous no more for I will remember always that the greatness of my Savior King knows no equal.

My dear Future, my hopes and dreams live in you.

So I will build my life—this short existence on this pale blue dot—upon the Cornerstone. And he—not I—will bring to pass things more splendid than I can imagine, treasures of silver and gold that will echo into the eternity I spend with him.

My dear Future, I do not know most of what you hold, but that is okay.

With love,

Rosalie

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August 28, 2018

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The Stories We Will Tell [musings from my recurring existential crisis about Christian art]

This post is five years and six tries in the making.

It is not my usual trying-to-be-helpful/5-tips-for-xyz/oh-and-here’s-a-book-and-a-playlist-I-recommend-on-the-subject sort of post. I already tried to write this post in those formats and a few styles as well. It didn’t work.

So this is more journal entry/stream-of-consciousness.

I am a Christian, and I am a storyteller. Welcome to my angsty thought life regarding the marriage of my Christianity and my storytelling.

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This is me, for the last five years, about every story I’ve written:

I’m a Christian. Do I write Christian stories? Or am I a Christian who tells stories?

Is this too preachy? Or is this subject matter too dark?

I’m twenty years old. Am I old enough to write this sort of stuff? Will I ever be “old enough” to write this stuff?

My mom will read this. Will she squirm?

People at my church may read this. Will they judge me?

People I’ve never met may read this. Will this help them?

Should I paint the world and humanity as it is, how it should be, or how it could be?

On one hand this story has blatant themes of true greatness, healing, and hope. But it is steeped in kidnapping, stonings, family dysfunction, betrayal, murder, torture, idolatry, and self-obsession. (False Gods)

Will the Christian community condemn me for this? Or are they willing to see into the dark to see why it’s written like this? Can they see that every layer of darkness and depravity has a role to play in contrasting every layer of light and goodness?

Will the non-Christian community scorn me for this attempt at art? Or will this break down barriers and show Jesus to those who have never known him?

Am I writing to entertain, challenge the comfortable, befriend the lonely, raise questions, answer questions, tell it how it is, tell it how it can be, glorify God, or all the above?

On one hand this story showcases one small step to healing. But it is filled with anger, bitterness, grief, and violent death. (Start With Their Names)

Is my Christianity coming through too obnoxiously in this story? Or does this look no different from what the world has to give?

If I include a God-figure, am I capable of writing it well? If I cannot write it well, how do I portray a world without God? Is it wrong for me to portray a world without God? Is that some sort of betrayal of the truest, most real Person in the universe?

Why does it feel like I’m overthinking this? Why does it feel like I’m not thinking about it enough?

These people who I love and respect think that Christian art in general is not done well. And they think I shouldn’t write Christian stories. These other people who I love and respect think that I shouldn’t go too dark, are concerned when my stories aren’t moral or light enough. Which is right? Are either of them wrong? Is it possible for me to execute overtly Christian art well?

On one hand this is a story of new life, light, love, grace, and family. And in its backdrop sit shame, extramarital sex, abandonment, and disownment. But without the latter, can the former shine so brightly? (Unexpected)

Am I reaching too far with this story? Can even a fraction of this vision in my head be achieved on the page?

Do I have what it takes to tackle all of this? Do I have what it takes to bridge this gap between excellent art and the Christian community? Does it matter at all if I have “what it takes” or not as long as I pursue God’s glory through excellent storytelling?

Should there even be such a thing as specifically Christian art? Should I write stories for other Christians, or should I write stories for non-Christians? Is it possible to do both?

At what point should I just quit caring what people think and just work to tell a good story?

What even defines a good story? Can there be an excellent story that isn’t “good”? Or does excellence denote goodness? And what sort of goodness are we talking about here? Moral goodness, craft excellence, or something else?

Will it really kill me to just write fluffy stories since those don’t tend to step on any toes? Oh, wait, those do step on the toes of the people who don’t appreciate the unique value of a fluffy story. What now?

On one hand, this story is all about perseverance, responsibility, and self-sacrifice. And yet it also includes mild gore and torture while touching on genocide. (That Last Breath)

Will people think differently of me if I write dark stories? Is that a bad thing? Does it really matter what they think of me?

If they will condemn me because of truth of human nature (aka: depravity) in my stories, do I really care what they think?

If they will insult me because of the flaming arrows pointing to Jesus in my stories, do I really care what they think?

Speaking of Jesus, what does he think about all this? What does he call me to do in this?

Can I live with people misunderstanding my intentions, insulting me, or condemning me as far as my storytelling goes if I know I’m writing what I’ve been called to write? Basically, do I really believe Jesus’ opinion is enough to render all the others moot?

There is no good way to finish this post, and so I’m going to drop the bookend here.

These questions (and more) come back again and again with every story that I write. The only thing I really know for sure is that I’m called to pursue excellence in storytelling for the glory of Jesus.

I must learn to tune out the conflicting, raging opinions around me and focus in on Jesus and what magnifies him. It’s not always going to be obvious. It’s not always going to be subtle. But it must always be the motivation and end of every story I write.

Thank you to Caleb Valentine, Janie Valentine, Katie Grace, Nadine Brandes, Tony Reinke, Stephen E. Burnett, Jackie Hill Perry, Mary Weber, Tosca Lee, Lindsay Franklin, Steve Laube, and Aimee Meester; though you may not have known it, your friendship, books, teaching, example, discussions, podcasts, and/or blog posts have been helping me think through this issue for quite some time.

Thank you to Daddy for not being freaked out by the wide variety of stories along the Christian storytelling spectrum that I’ve thrown at you.

And thank you, Jesus, for who you are. You are not tame. You are not dark. You are not clean. You are completely holy. You are endlessly creative. You are always good.

Hopefully this question-filled post will help you figure out the kind of stories you will tell.

With love,

Rosalie

P.S. – sorry for being AWOL last week, my friends. My brain hiccuped, and then it was too late to put together a good post for last week. So here we are.

P.P.S. – what about you? What’s the deal with the stories you tell?

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August 14, 2018

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7 Tips for Preparing for Church

A long while ago, I wrote a post musing about how I’m usually not ready to be in church.

It is high time that I share the follow-up post (aka: this post).

Disclaimer: Part of what’s taken so long to share this post is that I’m still not ready to be in church most of the time, even though I know “what it takes.” It’s hard to get ready, hard to work past the times when I’m just not feeling it or when my brain is scattered like seeds on the wind. So please know that I don’t often take my own advice.

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For me, preparing for corporate worship has broken down neatly into three primary sections: during the week, Saturday night, and lastly Sunday morning itself.

Let’s get started.

Part One: During the Week

  1. Have daily devotions during the week.

You know how in the spring, you go down to the lake (or the river or the pool or the ocean) for your first swim and the water is chilly at first? When you jump in, it takes you a few minutes to adjust—a few minutes of movement before you’re really enjoying yourself.

It’s not about getting out of the water to warm up before you jump in again. It’s about staying in the water until it’s natural and you get used to it and can even enjoy it. And the jumping in is easier the next time.

Devotions during the week are like staying in the water; they make the next Sunday—the next time you jump in—come more readily and naturally.

  1. When you pray for your pastor and his sermon prep during the week, pray also that you and your church would have ready hearts.

(This could be a no-brainer, but I tend to forget it. So I’m including it.)

We can do all the things we’re “supposed” to be ready for Sunday, but we actually have very little power to do anything. If the Holy Spirit isn’t there cutting and moving and blessing and exhorting no amount of ready or not will make any difference.

He’s the one who does all the heavy-lifting when it comes to being ready, and we have to humbly recognize that. We do the best we can to be ready, and we invite Him to do what we cannot.

Part Two: Saturday Night

  1. Unplug an hour or so before bed.

Unplug from social media. Unplug from the news. Unplug from the movies and TV. Unplug from novels and self-help books. Unplug from YouTube. Unplug from your current project—be it home improvements, a wood-working project, a piece of art, whatever.

We are an increasingly distracted people, yet we are to come undistracted before our holy God.

In his book 12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You, Tony Reinke says this: “God feels distant because we are distracted. Yet he seeks us; he seeks our undivided attention.”

Unplugging from all these diversions helps sweep away the mental clutter. Sleep should come more easily, and your mind will be clearer come morning.

Replace the distractors with things that help focus your mind and heart on God and cultivate an appetite for him.

  1. Read the text.

Read last week’s sermon text and maybe even review your notes so that you’re oriented to what’s happening, especially if your pastor is in the middle of a series.

If possible, read this week’s sermon text. I’m sure your pastor would be delighted to share it with you if you ask him for it. Just shoot a quick text or email over to him and get a jump-start on the message. This, too, will help shift your mind and heart and get your oriented.

  1. Go to bed a little earlier.

Little kids aren’t the only ones who are crabby when they’re tired. And I’m guessing everyone has fought the awful fight to stay awake in a church service.

Get a bit more sleep by not staying up as late; the more rested you are, the more stable and engaged you will be. You’ll have more patience with your family and roommates, and you’ll also have more mental focus.

Part Three: Sunday Morning.

  1. Wake up 15 minutes earlier than you need to.

Yes, I just told you to get more sleep, and now I’m telling you to get up earlier. But bear with me because it’s just a few minutes, and if used well, they are well worth it.

Use this extra time to have a prayer time and read a Psalm or something. Let the first thing you do set the mood for the rest of the day. And then go shower, eat breakfast, and all that jazz.

  1. Stay unplugged.

Resist the urge to check your email or the news or your social medias. Keep the TV off.

In fact, turn your phone on silent.

Set apart your Sunday mornings and don’t get caught up on everything until after lunch.

Let’s drop a bookend on this post.

Sunday mornings are a battleground. Church is about worshiping the living God with other believers. It’s about getting refreshed and prepped for the week to go out and spread the gospel. We cannot waste our Sunday mornings. We cannot autopilot through church. We cannot passively drift.

Hopefully, this helps you as you try to go into Sunday morning ready for what God will do.

With love,

Rosalie

P.S. – Penprints posting days are officially moved from Mondays to Tuesdays, just so you know. Mondays have worked well for the past five years, but now I’m trying something different. Maybe I’ll tell you all about all the whys in a few months. :D

P.P.S. – my third publication—Unexpected—is out and about in the world!