Why I Wrote a Story About Death [i’m getting published again; ‘a kind of death’ release day!]

Today is the day that my short story, Eshe, gets released in Uncommon Universes Press’s first anthology, A Kind of Death: Tales of Love, Loss, and Transformation.

I’ve actually hardly talked about this? Which is definitely weird. Life’s been kind of crazy, and I’ve hardly sat down with my computer at all. Anyweys.

I want to tell you why I wrote Eshe, a story about death.

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I.

Sometimes it feels strange to say that I’m getting published in a collection of poems and short stories about death. I know how morbid it sounds, how some people definitely think, “yikes!” when they hear that title.

Honestly though, most of my stories involve death. If you’ve read any of my eight published flash fictions, you will find that four of the eight deal fairly strongly with death in some form or another.

But why do I come back to death again and again in my stories?

II.

Death was never meant to be.

This world was created bursting at its atoms with life and wonder, every piece perfect and whole and beautiful and glorifying to God.

Yet humans rebelled against God, pushed against his kingdom, and enter from stage right: sin and death.

This world is shattered now. Death comes to all things here; from the honey bee to the forests packed with trees to the stars galaxies away to the picked rose to the blue whale to the cells that make up the fingers that type these letters.

I’m still young, in good health. Yet I am decaying, dying. And so is this world.

Little ones only weeks old die in their cribs from SIDs. Graves fill with bodies of soldiers. The hearts beating under the papery skin of the elderly stop. Sickness and violence rob families of loved ones every way we turn. We can’t escape death. Death is a present reality.

III.

I write about death to see death rightly. It’s not romantic. It’s real, but it’s not normal. It’s not how it should be. It’s not how it will always be. It’s not the end.

I write about death to peer past this destroyed world and remember that there is another kingdom my eyes can’t see.

I write about death so that I can learn to die well.

I write about death because it reminds me to live well.

I write about death because in doing so, in a strange way, I see Jesus more clearly. I see his kindness, for only One of great love would submit to death to save a rebellious, self-destroying, dying people. I see his power, for only One of great might can redeem death itself.

And seeing Jesus more clearly gives me courage. Courage to not fear death. Courage to pray that every sinful, unfruitful thing in me be put death and that I be undone and remade again and again until he calls me home. Courage to believe that one day, death will be a distant memory, and being alive, being with Jesus, will forever be the present reality.

Death will come for me one day, but death will not get the final say over me. Only Jesus gets that.


aKoDCover.jpgA Kind of Death Blurb:

A princess who makes dangerous bargains with the afterlife. A man desperate to save his wife, no matter the cost. An uber driver for the undead.

Death, whether real or metaphorical, comes for us all. Yet it is not always the end. And in the depths of grieving can be the promise of hope and redemption.

The tales and poems in this anthology explore the depths of love, loss, and transformation. Whether in a reimagined folktale or a modern urban fantasy, A Kind of Death features a fine balance of tragedy and comedy, but always with a hint of wonder and hope.

As this anthology concerns matters of loss (all handled tastefully and without graphic depiction), certain stories might prove challenging for sensitive readers. Recommend reading with a hot beverage and/or a packet of tissues.


A Kind of Death is available as in paperback, hardback, and ebook.

Find it on Goodreads, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and UUP.

Don’t forget to enter to win a hardback copy of A Kind of Death along with two art prints and additional book swag!

I can’t wait for you to read Eshe. <3

With love,

Rosalie

p.s. – here’s the Eshe pinterest board, if you’re interested.

p.p.s. – fun fact: Eshe is my favorite thing I’ve written to date.

p.p.p.s. – I get to be published with Savannah Grace again! And alongside Bethany Jennings for the first time! Whoop whoop!

My Noveling Process [in gifs]

Noveling is a process. It’s arduous. The Arduous Process looks different for everyone, but I just want to share a snapshot of what noveling is like for me, personally.

Obviously, there will be gifs.

Here it is from start to finish (because there comes a point where a novel is finished, right? RIGHT????).

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The Spark of Creation (aka: when an new story idea strikes).

The moment of inspiration is different for every novel, but the moment it takes root, there’s no going back.

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This is the part where I cheat on the novel I was working on by thinking about and creating playlists and Pinterest boards for my new idea. It’s all fun and games in the beginning, when it’s forbidden.

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^^^ me having fun with all the new characters and plot bunnies and worldbuilding nerdiness ^^^

Everything is shiny and new and exciting about this idea, and I’m usually pretty jacked and acting kind of weird around the house.

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It’s very much like the beginning of The Lion King, when everything is bright and hopeful and beautiful.

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I am Rafiki; Simba is the new idea

Drafting Begins (aka: I write the rough draft of the novel).

It’s time to get started! All the Pinteresting and playlist-making and movie-trailer-dreaming has come to this, and it’s time to start actually writing the novel. I couldn’t be happier!

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Two chapters into the novel:

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But I’m not stressed because I’m a discovery writer, which means I don’t plot out a novel before I write it; I just start with some inspiration and make most of it up as I go along (because what can possibly go wrong with that?).

This leads us to the next phase: intermittent snacking.

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The time eventually comes to kill off the first character. I usually meet this challenge with a healthy mixture of maniacal zest and sincere sorrow.

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I also tend to get stuck in research ruts, which is where I spend five and a half hours researching one minute detail (which I’ll probably end up throwing out further down the line in the editing process).

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^^^ me after getting stuck in a  research rut ^^^

By this point, we’re where everything is falling apart for the characters, and my main character has reached their lowest point (this is often called “the dark night of the soul”). All their hopes and dreams (and maybe even some of their loved ones) have gone up in smoke. It’s a very traumatic time. For the main character. Less so for me.

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^^^ me watching my characters hopes and dreams (and maybe even some loved ones) go up in smoke ^^^

Inevitably, I slow to a halt and spend a while existential crisis-ing.

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Shortly after this, I complete the first draft, which is hands down one of the most amazing feelings of this whole process.

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Editing Begins (aka: I try to fix up the story to make it presentable to others, and it promptly falls apart).

Editing usually begins well. I typically take a few month break (sometimes even more) between my first draft and my second draft and am thus very refreshed and ready to dig into my novel once more.

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I read the first draft, which often feels like I’m discovering the novel for the first time all over again. Except this time without all the frills and euphoric visions. No, this time, I read it with all the cynicism my dual personality can muster.

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^^^ actual footage of me reading dialogue from my first drafts ^^^

And then I begin to notice that there are some, well, some rather large problems that my witty back and forth banter with myself won’t fix.

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Then, I lose all comprehension of all words, story craft, plot structure, character building, etc..

Enter from stage right: the Google search.

Typical Editing Phase 1 Google searches look like:

  • how to tell if your novel has a plot
  • yikesyikesyikesyikes
  • how to plot a novel
  • why does my main character need to have a goal?
  • how to write a plot twist
  • wHaT IS A pLOt?
  • is my novel trash?
  • save me

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People generally think it’s pretty cool that I write novels, and this is the part (when I can’t recall the difference between an inciting incident and a plot twist) where they ask about it. I can’t help myself but respond thusly:

awkward smile

Editing Continues (aka: something has gone terribly wrong with the story and I’m still editing it a year and a half later).

It’s usually at this juncture that I find some irreparable plot hole and can’t cope.

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me, not being able to cope with the gaping hole in my plot

Eventually, I do learn to cope…

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because if you can’t fix it, you might as well burn it

As I said, some people are kind enough to check in with me every once in a while. They’ll ask me again about my novel, to which I reply like Edna Mode:

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which is really code for “I’m dying*

Despair and confusion continues.

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And continues…

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After I’ve spent three years of my life editing a novel….

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After I’ve reworked that first chapter approximately 4543 times:

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Again, with the thoughtful, invested people asking me how the novel is coming:

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I am Mike, the inquisitor is Sully, the novel is Boo.

But then I start to get a second (or maybe this is the third? Or fourth? Or fifth?) wind, and things start to turn around. Something clicks in my brain; I get some sort of breakthrough. I see how to take this novel to the next level and end this hell editing.

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we all knew this gif was coming

I respond in the only way I can.

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In general, there is Renewed Vigor, and I’m ready to kick this novel in the butt.

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^^^ me and my Renewed Vigor ^^^

Me to my Renewed Vigor:

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And then, some time later, I finish the novel.

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And there it is, friends.

My noveling process from start to finish. Now, please excuse me while I get back to editing my novel.

What does your process look like?

With love,

Rosalie

p.s. – this was going to be a serious post, but that clearly didn’t happen, lol. Someone *cough cough* let themselves loose on a gif-hunt, and now here we are.

p.p.s. – I think I may have used a record number of gifs in this post. I was also a bit loopy while putting together this post because I’ve been staying up late working on my novel and am thus a little sleep-deprived.

An Introduction to My Latest Novel [the NaNoWriMo 2018 edition]

I shouldn’t technically be writing this post because I haven’t finished the first draft of this novel. I have this unspoken rule that I don’t post about my novels until the first draft is done.

But here I am because we are in the middle of April Camp NaNoWriMo 2019 and I’m still trying to finish the first draft of my NaNoWriMo 2018 novel. Yeah, the one I started in November 2018.

“You can write the flashy, here-are-a-bunch-of-aesthetic-collages, also-playlists, I-finished-the-rough-draft-of-my-novel, mwahahahahahah post after you finish this draft,” I told myself in November.

And here we are mid-April, and I’m writing the post with an unfinished draft anyway. You do the math (not that there’s actually any math to be done–I just wanted to say that).

It’s not a terribly long book (at least not right now in the first draft)–only 55,000 words at this point with probably another 10k to go before the end. I just… have been terrrrrrrible about finishing it (the number of r‘s used increases the weight of a word like “terrible,” in case you didn’t know).

But I’m trying to finish it this month.

Granted, I’ve only written a grand total of 1300 words since the start of the month, which isn’t the most auspicious start, but this book and I already have a history of rallying after an unimpressive start (like that time I wrote only 13,000 words in three weeks and hit the last week of November and wrote like 37,000 words so I could actually finish NaNo… even if I didn’t finish the book).

ANYWHO. Enough of this rambling introduction. Enough waxing eloquently (or not so eloquently) about where this novel has or has not gone. Enough looking back on the set and failed goals of the past four months.

*goes on to say “enough” this or that for another few paragraphs*

I give you my NaNoWriMo 2018 novel (no, I’m not actually giving it to you; that would be awful because it’s still a mess; I’m introducing you to it)!

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Title: Ritter André or To the Red Oceans and Beyond.

Genre: Sci-fi, space opera, aliens, interpersonal drama, space battles, etc.

Wordcount: 55k and climbing (in case you forgot, I haven’t finished the first draft yet).

How long have you had the idea?

I’ve had the idea for almost two years now. To the Red Oceans and Beyond is actually set in the same storyworld/galaxy as my flash fiction collection (Stars and Soul, for the uninitiated), and I got the idea at the same time as those stories.

At first, I thought about it as a flash fiction…. but it was too big. So I started thinking about it as a shorty story. And then a novella. And then finally a novel when I realized how much was going to go on.

Describe what your novel is about!

Hahahahaha, this is the part where I give you as little information as possible because I’m terrrrrrrible at talking about my books and stories (note the r‘s again).

To the Red Oceans and Beyond is about a young criminal investigator who goes to the end of worlds to rescue his kidnapped best friend from a mysterious criminal organization.

Plus, like, aliens, intergalactic drama, and a shipload of interpersonal drama.

Describe your book’s aesthetic!

This is really what this post is for: giving aesthetics, moods, and visuals and not any real information about the story.

~ cityscapes puncturing the atmosphere ~ glowing wires ~ ringed planets ~ solar flares ~ sleek black ~ blue and red tech ~ desolate moons ~ aliens ~ space walks ~ red oceans ~

Introduce us to each of your characters!

Ritter André: my main character and intergalactic criminal investigator. Sometimes I think he’s a product of my mad genius; sometimes I think he’s cardboard. Time will tell.

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Ritter’s collage; I own none of the pictures

Erick Ikehara: intergalactic criminal investigator and Ritter’s best friend (the one who gets kidnapped); fierce with lots of past hurt; legendary reputation (not that I’m going to tell you why he’s got a legendary reputation, though).

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Erick’s collage; I own none of the pictures

Oberon: a smol, mysterious hackery genius who teams up with Ritter.

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Oberon’s collage; I own none of the pictures

Philippa: an exiled contender for the throne of the empire spanning half the galaxy; possibly a sociopath.

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Philippa’s collage; I own none of the pictures

Agrippa (I clearly need to get these names out of my system before I have offspring): a dangerous hacker; also happens to be an Artificial Intelligence with questionable intentions.

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Agrippa’s collage; I own none of the pictures

How do you prepare to write? (Outline, research, stocking up on chocolate, howling, etc.?)

  • Put on a playlist
  • Pin some more pins to my Pinterest board (somehow we’re at 292 pins on this board; don’t know how that happened; probably wasn’t me)
  • Gloat over the portion of the novel that’s already been written
  • Cringe at the portion of the novel that’s already been written
  • Create some character ships that will never actually work in the story
  • Write a completely different story
  • Envision the theatrical trailer
  • Dream of snippets from the sequel
  • Dream of snippets for the epic trilogy conclusion (not that this is actually a trilogy, mind you; it’s supposed to be a standalone, but don’t crush my dream)
  • Etc.

You know, all the usual procrastination stuff.

List 3 things about your novel’s setting.

A certain stolen starship (yet to be named; when it is named, you can bet it will be named something equally weird brilliant as everything else in this novel).

Red oceans. Designing worlds is one of my favorite things, and sometimes I get a little drunk on power and throw something like red oceans into the mix just because I can. And then it somehow gets worked into the title because it becomes a super huge deal in the book.

Outer space. Gotta love it, my dudes.

What’s your character’s goal and who (or what) stands in the way?

Ritter André (that name, though [“Ritter” means “knight,” and “André” means “manly” or “brave warrior” {You: “Isn’t that a little over-the-top?” Me: No comment.}]) spends most of the novel trying to unravel the kidnapping of his best friend and fellow criminal investigator Erick Ikehara.

However, Ritter’s own government has given Erick up for dead, so Ritter must go around the system he cherishes to track a criminal organization spanning the galaxy without starting an intergalactic incident.

What are your book’s themes?

Friendship. Extra-familial brotherhood (i.e. – the deep bonds of family that can be shared between those who don’t share the same blood; think David and Jonathan, Holmes and Watson, Frodo and Sam, Kirk and Spock). Endurance. The nature of morality.

That’s what’s shown up so far.

Playlist.

There are actually several playlists, one for each character (I’m known in some circles as The Playlist Queen, so we all had to know there wasn’t going to be just one playlist). There is some overlap in the songs, and none of the playlists are very long yet, but I’m pretty in love with them.

Ritter | Erick | Philippa | Oberon | Agrippa

Now I just need to finish the novel.

Minor detail, but I should actually finish this thing. I’ve been stuck on the cusp of the climax for like four months now.

Part of it is that life’s been crazy (moving and such), part of it is needful rest, and part of it is not being able to press past being uninspired to finish it. But inspiration or no inspiration, I’m finishing this book. It’s going to need some revisions, but I won’t quit now.

So I’m actually go do that for a little bit since I’ve exhausted all avenues of procrastination.

What is your current project? What does your creative process look like?

With love,

Rosalie

p.s. – these questions were ripped off of the old Beautiful Books tag put on by Cait and Skye.

p.p.s. – I think I used a record amount of parenthetical statements in this post, and I don’t even care (I was clearly In A Mood or something when I wrote this entire post).

The Day of Nevermore [a poem]

To be clear, I am not a poet.

I enjoy poetry and have tried many times to write poetry. It rarely works out, and I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s “worked out” in this case.

For instance, I don’t really know where the commas are supposed to go, so I stuck commas at the end of each line and periods at the end of each thought/stanza/thread.

Also, it’s not a traditional poem, but it’s also not a straight up free form poem. Sometimes it rhymes. Sometimes it doesn’t. Some parts are three lines, and others are nine or ten. That kind of bothers me. But it is what it is, and I’m done tweaking it.

Here I present: The Day of Nevermore.

the day of nevermore

I look to the Day of Nevermore,
And yearning swells within me,
Deep and rising to an outpour.

In bed I lie awake and think and ache,
For the day of Nevermore,
Is the last day of heartbreak.

Light will rise and darken nevermore,
Finally, I will see my Savior-Lord.

And every sorrow that sent the strong,
Weeping to the shower floor,
And every vice that gripped and gored,
And every lie that broke and bruised and tore,
And every note of strife and discord,
And every curse that burned to the core,
And every failure that cut like a sword,
And the grief that seemed the only loyal mentor,
And every shameful word and awful act of war,
And every loss the dark night had in store,
It will all be over forevermore,
Come the Day of Nevermore.

The Day of Nevermore,
It’s the first day of forevermore.

These words will be no more,
On that bright, bright Day of Nevermore:
Alone, afflicted, abused, accused
Bleeding, bruising, bitterness,
Blame, betrayal, brokenness,
Crushing, cruel,
Division, dejection, depression,
Distress, damage, disappointment,
Enmity, emptiness,
Failure, fault, frustrate, fear,
Grief, guilt,
Hate, hostility, harm,
Inferiority, inequity, injury,
Lament, loneliness, loathing, lacking,
Misery, marring, mauling,
Plague, peril, prejudice, poison,
Ruin, regret, rejection, revenge,
Slander, scorn, spite, sorrow, shame,
Tragedy, trouble, trial, torment,
Ugliness, uninvited, unworthy,
Vitriol, venom, vice, void,
Wounded, wretched, war,
All such words will meet their final end,
When God does as He intends.

Nevermore will nightmares invade our rest,
Nevermore will we crumble in the test,
Nevermore will doubt destroy peace,
Nevermore will weariness overtake,
Nevermore will pride divide,
Nevermore will shame overshadow,
Nevermore will fear bind and break,
Nevermore will grief overflow,
Nevermore will hope seem vain,
Nevermore will strength wither,
Nevermore will suffering reign.

It will be on the Day of Nevermore,
The mending of all that came before,
Perfection He will forever restore.

We won’t puzzle over what He’s doing anymore,
We’ll see it clearly on that Day of Nevermore,
And we’ll answer with a shout, a song, a roar,
And God Himself we will forever explore.

I look for the Day of Nevermore,
It will be the best day,
And every day after will be even better,
Forevermore.

In the dark I lie awake,
I wait for the Nevermore daybreak.


Do you write poetry? Are you a traditional or free form poet?

With love,

Rosalie

p.s. if you want a piece of encouraging excellence, check out Dear Heartbreak by Heidi Melo. I love it so much I printed out and put it on my bedroom wall.

Stars and Soul: Release Day [giveaways, title pages, playlists, etc.]

Today is it, friends.

Today, Stars and Soul is out and about. By this time, the Kindle pre-orders are delivered to the people who pre-ordered (a surprising amount of whom are not related to me).

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Stars and Soul is a tiny collection of four sci-fi flash fictions (stories under 1,000 words) that has received acclaim from Tosca Lee, Nadine Brandes, Steve Rzasa, and Just B. Jordan.

Tosca Lee S&amp;S endorsementHere’s the official blurb (I’ve probably been saying this in my sleep by this point):

A scheming imperial family. A bedraggled starship captain. A runaway artificial intelligence. A dying general.

Four small stories of stars and soul. 

And today this little thing is out in the world for anyone who cares to read it. Paperbacks are available as adorable little 4×6 books printed with a matte cover and full color title pages designed by the amazing Alea Harper–one for each story.

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Which title page is your favorite?

Related Links:

Nadine S&amp;S endorsementThe instrumental playlist of songs I listened to while writing the stories for Stars and Soul.

The playlist I listen to whenever a story of mine gets rejected or published. Which means it’s what I had on repeat yesterday and is most likely the only thing I’m going to be listening to today.

And, in case you missed it earlier: the Pinterest board.

And a playlist called “sunrise” with some songs that inspired imagery in the last story in the collection: Star-rise.

Giveaways:

stars and soul giveaway package.jpgThere are three giveaways running to celebrate the launch!!

Check out my Instagram to enter to win a tiny paperback of Stars and Soul.

Also, be sure to take a peek on Facebook to enter to win a paperback and a poster of one of the gorgeous title pages designed by Alea Harper.

And then here’s the one for Penprints. You can enter to win one paperback copy of Stars and Soul and hardcopies of my previous four publications (the April 2017 issue of Havok, the March and September 2018 issues of Splickety, and the August 2018 issue of Spark). Just follow this Rafflecopter link.

Other necessary links (lol, this post is basically just a compilation of links):

Find Stars and Soul as a paperback as well as a Kindle ebook on Amazon.

Add it to your Goodreads.

The end of this post.

Steve R S&amp;S endorsementI am so blessed to have been able to work with all the fantastic people who have been part of this process:

… from Alea and her gorgeous art…

… to Sarah Delena White who formatted the Kindle copy…

… to Lauren Hildebrand (my favorite flash fiction editor)…

… to my amazing endorsers…

… to the cover reveal team who blew up my social media…

… to Caleb (my brother), Daddy, and Katie Grace who read these four stories when they were still disasters over a year ago now…

… to every one who’s gotten excited with me these last few weeks.

You guys make my soul smile.

I am so honored to have been able to collaborate with so many people on this project, and I am so thankful to Jesus for this opportunity.

Soli deo gloria.

With love,

Rosalie <3

p.s. – I hope you enjoy the Stars and Soul galaxy. I have a feeling we haven’t seen the end of it. ;)