Good morning!

I’m back (surprise!), and I do have another poem. I promise not to turn this blog into my emo poetry journal (trust me, that is not where this blog is going as if it’s going anywhere because contrary to the rumors, I am not Taylor Swift).

This poem is about when God in his wisdom and goodness and kindness and love and holiness sometimes makes your life take a hard left turn off a cliff and what that can be like. *insert upside down smiley face emoji*

There comes a moment
When your hands are
Full of mess
And you have no more tries
Left in your body
And you can’t
Salvage it
Fix it
Heal it
Mend it
Because it’s
Too shattered
Too corrupted
Too poisoned
And you are too weak
To make it better
Because you are not God.

And God?
He lets it burn to the ground
While you scream at him to
Do
Something.
And he meets your gaze
Steady as starlight
And says,
“I did.”

And in a leap of faith
That rips the tendons of your trust
Cleanly from your bones
You accept his choice:
It will not be fixed.

And for a while you lie
Like a carcass of grief
And you wonder
What you could have done
And you blame yourself for the mess
And you cry
And you can’t talk to God
Because you can’t help but
Accuse the Allwise One
As if the Allgood were capable of evil.

But then
You must decide
What to do next.

And you must consider:
Is God defeated?

And your bones reject the truth
That he is undefeatable.
And you tell your bones:
Fall in line.
God is unstoppable.

And you must consider:
Is God good?

And your bones reject the truth
That he is always good.
And you tell your bones:
Fall in line.
God is good.

And you must consider:
Am I still going to follow him?

And your bones
Whine
And weep
And wail
Because you have nowhere to go
But to his everlasting arms.

And he is patient.
He waited
Something like
Four thousand years to send his Son
Did he not?
Long-suffering can hardly describe
One such as him.

He knows humans
Are creatures easily broken.

You ask
Why
You ask
Why
More times than you can count.

And he should be
Silent
Because the Universe Upholder
Answers to no one.
The Wisdom that invented
Gravity and light and time
Doesn’t have to answer back
To dusty souls
But
As always
He is more generous
Than a man could ever be
And he answers.
He says:
“You will see in time.”

At last
You accept:
He never meant to fix it.
You accept:
He knows what he’s doing.
You accept:
It is ruined
And so are you.

Then he says,
Like the first sighting of land
Like a deep, deep breath
Like a resurrection
Like a midnight moonrise
Like the first bud of spring
Like the striking of flint,
“Come, let us make something new.”

---

Further up and further in,
Rosalie

p.s. – but seriously, guys, have you listened to the new Gray Havens album? It is the simplest project they’ve put out lyrically, and it has been such a gift to me. Dave Radford sharing what the last few years of life have been like for him via the songs on this album is part of why I’ve posted these poems here.

p.p.s. – if you’re still reading this post and you are still reading this blog, let me know if there is any type of content you’d like (reading recommendations, gif-ful guides, serious stuffs, something about how to like a guy without marrying him [omg, remember that old rag of a series?? I should reread those and make sure there’s no heresy/insanity I should edit out *sweats*], something about why Megamind is incredible, something about KPOP Demon Hunters and how I judged it by its title but then ended up crying while I watched it *sweats even more*, my Ruminations^TM, etc etc). I don’t know if I’ll actually… you know… do it… BUT I could give it the ol’ college try.