7 Steps to Maximum Bookstore Enjoyment

Today, I am going to a bookstore.

I haven’t been to a bookstore since November 2018, which in bookworm years is like half an eternity.

I’m very excited and have been planning this bookstore trip for about two weeks now. The nearest bookstore is about 35 minutes away, which is just far enough that strategery must be deployed for Maximum Bookstore Enjoyment.

Today, I’m sharing my wisdom on Bookstore Ventures. Listen up, kids.

7 steps bookstore enjoyment.jpg

Step One: Carve out a good chunk of time (aka: release yourself of all responsibility for at least 7.5 hours). 

Take the day off from work. Clear your schedule. Make it clear to your loved ones that if they need anything, you’ll be at the bookstore and thus otherwise engaged for quite some time.

ron swanson 2.gif

People will be sad that you are unreachable during your Bookstore Venture. That’s okay. They’ll live.

Step Two: Conduct reconnaissance and gather provisions. 

It’s important to know what sort of bookstore you’re walking into and what amenities the surrounding area has to offer.

feel like a spy 1.gif

For instance, you’ll likely need some coffee, so make sure there’s either a coffee shop inside the bookstore or that there’s a coffee shop on the way too the bookstore. (Also, I should warn you that a bookstore without a coffee shop should be regarded as Shady.)

If there are no proper eateries within thirty seconds of the bookstore, pack snacks.

provisions 1.gif

Step Three: Select the proper wardrobe.

You can’t go to a bookstore wearing just anything.

edna mode 6

You need something comfy, stylish, and possibly bookish. If you have bookish merch of any kind, this where you break it out. Wear the Out of Print t-shirt, the Storiarts headband (anybody want to buy me a Dracula headband?), the bookworm socks. Or, go the fandom route.

You’re going home to the bookstore. Such an occasion requires the proper attire.

swag 1.gif

Step Four: Leave the dead weight non-bookish people at home.

If you are a mother and have offspring, leave the offspring at home.

It’s also best if you leave family and/or friends at home who may in any way try to rush the Bookstore Venture.

If they are not a fellow Bookworm, they will only detract from the Venture by….

a) complaining about your mood, attire, etc.

Bookworm:

rafiki 7.gif

Person:

sherlock holmes 1.gif

b) getting bored in the bookstore

c) asking if you’re almost done

d) sighing

rdj 3.gif

e) constantly checking their phone

f) sighing more

again 1

g) asking, “Don’t you already have enough books?”

h) ect. 

Step Five: Locate and take pictures of all the books you already own by authors you already know and love and post them on Instagram.

If I need to explain this why this step is imperative, you clearly have not been exposed to the #bookstagram community, and the very nature of your Bookworm-ness has been called into question.

Step Six: Angst over which books you’re going to purchase.

You know the feeling. There are so many good options and too little money and shelf space.

You take books off the shelves only to reshelve them only to take them off again. You read blurbs and first chapters and stare at covers and recheck your bank account and reshelve the books.

You don’t know which books to buy, which ones are the most essential to your towering TBR pile.

Buy the box set? Or get the YA retelling?

paper bag gif 1

Or choose the book you’d never heard of before today but has a beautiful cover and a mouth-watering blurb?

And what about that special edition of your favorite classic?

explosion 1.gif

Or go with the hardcover that you have to take out a mortgage to buy, but my goodness it’s gorgeous?

How can you possibly choose?

ron swanson 1.gif

Step Seven: Buy some books. Engage in some “I just bought books” merrymaking. Die happy.

ron swanson 8

stranger things 1

chris traeger 4

That’s how it’s done.

With love,

Rosalie

ben wyatt 2

p.s. – today is Katie Grace’s birthday!! Happy Birthday, Katie!!

p.p.s. – that Avengers: Endgame trailer, amiright?

p.p.p.s. – I clearly spent more time looking for gifs than I did writing this post.

6 thoughts on “7 Steps to Maximum Bookstore Enjoyment

  1. This was great, it made me laugh. ;)
    Now I need to go to my local bookstore, which literally has a cafe touching it. My-to-be read shelf is only in electronic form. Time to find some books to read over summer!

    Like

  2. This is the most accurate thing I’ve ever read in my life. ESPECIALLY #4. Sooo much sighing and rushing me from my family members. Like, do they not understand I NEED 7.5 hours to book shop? Seriously now.

    Like

  3. Oh my goodness. This is the most eventful book store trip ever! You forgot the optional step which is bringing a book loving friend who will then show you more books you want to buy that you didn’t know you wanted.

    Like

Thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s