If you’ve followed Penprints for any length of time, you’ve probably heard me mention The Out of Time Series by Nadine Brandes. If you haven’t, I’m not sure what Penprints you’ve been reading, but it’s not this one. Well, I have compiled a list of signs that you might be obsessed with The Out of Time Series (please, of course none of this was drawn from personal experience; I am not obsessed with the Out of Time series. I’m not.).
If you have not read The Out of Time Series, you just won’t understand this post because you haven’t been baptized into the fandom, and therefore you must read the books immediately.
Note: For the purposes of this post, The Out of Time Series shall be referred to simply as “The Series”.
Let’s dive in.
1. You own hardcopies of all three books (true, A Time to Rise doesn’t release for another 31 days, but you broke into Nadine Brandes house, hacked her computer, and printed yourself a copy, so there you go).
2. Your copies of The Series are all autographed by the one and only Nadine Brandes (even the copy you printed at her house).
3. You have joined the Readers of Nadine Brandes Facebook group and share your fan theories hourly.
4. Your family says that you’re obsessed, but they just don’t understand… yet.
5. You’ve made it your mission to force all of your family members to read and love The Series as much as you do.
6. You spend hours making memes based on The Series.
7. You are the founder of the Radical Hotline for new readers of The Series who aren’t coping well with the end of A Time to Speak.
8. You say that your footy pajamas are one of Wilbur Sherrod’s suits.
9. You plan to name your firstborn Parvin.
10. You plan to make your siblings name their firstborns after other characters from The Series.
11. You refer to your enemies as “Empty Numbers”.
12. You experience all the stages of grief whenever you flash back to the end of A Time to Die.
13. You experience visceral hate whenever you smell lemons.
14. You own all of the Happy Hello bookmarks based off the characters in The Series.
15. You are currently writing the companion guide for The Series.
16. You designed and launched The Series’ clothing and accessory line.
17. You philosophically quote The Series to people whether they like it or not (e.g. – Person: I’m just so sick and tired of your attitude! You: Well, impulse is my oxygen. OR Person: Do you want some coffee? You: *wistful sigh* Tomorrow was never promised to us. OR Person: I’m hungry. You: They will be angry. You must be calm. They will have questions. You must be honest. They will watch you. You must be confident. OR Person: Have you seen the remote? You: *thoughtful expression* God doesn’t make empty numbers.)
18. Your go-to gift is A Time to Die (e.g. – Oh, Sally is graduating! I’ll get her A Time to Die! OR Wow, Grandma’s turning 95 this year; I’ll get her A Time to Die! OR Judy’s having a baby shower. I’ll get her A Time to Die. OR I can’t believe Hunter is turning 3 already! He’ll love A Time to Die!) whether it fits the occasion or not.
19. You take pictures of A Time to Die and A Time to Speak, eagerly awaiting the day when you may add A Time to Rise to your #bookstagram.
20. You mention The Series at least once a blog post.
21. You’ve read The Series four times and are starting on your fifth.
22. You go to extreme lengths to make sure that your local library has at least one copy of A Time to Die.
23. You threaten to make people who don’t like Parvin atone (wait, what?).
24. You have a five year plan to single-handedly get The Series on the NYT Bestselling list where it belongs.
25. You carry A Time to Die in your purse.
26. You’re still shell-shocked about the ending of A Time to Speak.
27. You have your dream cast picked out for when The Series is made into movies.
28. You both dread and eagerly anticipate the movie adaptions of The Series because there’s no way they’ll do it justice….
29. … So you’re currently writing the 16.15 hour screenplay yourself.
30. You send Nadine Brandes fanmail weekly.
31. You follow Nadine Brandes on all of her social media accounts. All of them. (All. Of. Them.)
32. You are one of Nadine’s Ninjas.
33. You complete every ninja mission from the Ninja Leader (aka: Nadine Brandes) with way too much enthusiasm.
34. You spend hours gazing at the beautiful covers and admiring Kirk DouPonce’s incredible skill.
35. Your friends will probably fall over dead if they have to hear you talk about The Series anymore.
36. In case of a fire, you keep a few copies of The Series in an indestructible, heat-proof vault.
37. You believe that the government is trying to clock-match you.
38. You don’t call them weddings; you call them graftings.
40. Your Twitter followers can’t escape your weekly (sometimes daily, sometimes hourly) tweets about The Series.
41. When talking about The Series, you typically use phrases such as: “changed my life”, “was a spiritual frying pan to my head in the best way”, “I believe in this series”.
42. You judge other readers who aren’t as committed to The Series as you so obviously are.
43. You boycott bookstores that don’t carry The Series.
44. It’s hard for you to think about how A Time to Rise is the last book in The Series.
And there you have it.
Are you obsessed with The Out of Time Series? Obviously, I am not.
Have you read The Out of Time Series yet? No? Give me your name and address and I’ll add you to my five-year plan.
Are you going to name your firstborn Parvin? No? You’re going to name him Solomon?! Perfect! Then our children can marry!
I hope you enjoyed this goofy post.
If you haven’t read The Out of Time Series, I highly recommend it (in case you couldn’t guess by this post).
If you’ve read The Series, are there any signs I missed?
What are some of your favorite books? Why do you like them?