Tag Archives: poem

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April 26, 2026

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poems, The Christian Life

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How Strange [the last poem in the church cataclysm trilogy]

Intro where I talk about how I cannot believe/fathom that the entire first quarter of 2026 is already over.

Now, onto the next stuff.

This will be the last poem I share on the subject of October 2024. Consider it the last in the tiny poetic trilogy that started with All Good Things and then Make Something New. If you know, you know. If you don’t know, I will simply say that the church I moved 1200 miles to help plant (i.e. – help start) fell apart in October of 2024. You could say I was not having the time of my life for a minute there (hence All Good Things and a host of other poems and prayers and gnashings of my teeth).

By the grace of Jesus, I am still walking with God and am now a part of another church (perhaps I’ll write about why I’d choose to join myself to another church when 2 of the 3 I’ve been part of have imploded in ways that have catastrophically altered my brain chemistry).

But for now: a final poem.

How strange it is
To live in today
In a moment I could not have
Imagined
Fathomed
Hoped for
Believed possible
A year ago.

All those days of grief
I knew in my heart
Better days would come
But to live in those better days
To see them come to pass…
How strange.

Father, thank you
For those days
And for these days.

How strange
To see a bud on the branches
I might have sworn were dead.

How strange
To feel the sun
Warm my face
Warm my soul.

How strange
To experience familiarity
To be called by name
To be a little known
After 400 days of sojourning.

How strange
To have the painstaking
Foundation-laying
Finished
And be able to
Live in a home
Once again.

How strange
To have roots
Finally
Pushing into new soil
After the cataclysm
Of the transplant.

How strange
To take off at a run
Full tilt
When I wondered
If I’d ever walk again.

How strange
To dream of the future
Once again.

How strange
To have memories of the pain
But to
At last
Not be in pain.

How strange
To be in the days
Where the
Quiet
Secret
Precious
Patient
Work of the Spirit
And his salve that is truth
And his splint that is time
Bring forth
At last
A bud.

How strange
To be
Well again.

And just for fun (because this is a blog, not a serious publication, ladies and gents), here are some things that are currently keeping my heart from growing cold as I continue on the pilgrim way home to Jesus. Of course, they’re mostly songs. Smh, classic.

Shai Linne’s Attributes of God album takes my feelings out of myself and roots me (whole being: thoughts, feelings, zeal, etc.) in who God is and what he’s like. This album is a triumph, particularly Self-Sufficiency (which begins with a sermon excerpt), Lord of Patience, and Triune Praise Remix. (Yeah, your girl finally got got by Christian rap).

Another rap rec: Shai Linne’s track Immutable from his Still Jesus album. It’s straight fire.

Delighting in the Trinity by Michael Reeves was a Godsend last year when I read it. Surprisingly funny and deeply encouraging, this is a must read for Christians because it is all about why the God of the Bible and the Christian faith is Trinitarian (3 in 1) and some of the implications of that. I didn’t think a book on the Trinity had any business being this life-giving (my surprise is proof that I still know nothing), but it was a banger from start to finish.

The Zion Acoustic Album. I’ve learned for myself that Scandal of Grace is never not the vibe.

Shane and Shane’s Praise to the Lord (Joyful, Joyful) medley is a can’t stop won’t stop recalibrator of my soul; it gets my eyes and my heart on the Father in all his majesty, goodness, and delight.

John Mark McMillan’s Nothing Stands Between Us is a joyful anthem about how there’s no enmity between Christians and God, just love, and I could dance to it into eternity.

Weekly coffee with Judy (sorry if you don’t know Judy–your loss). Since you likely don’t have Judy (a woman at my new church who has been discipling me), pray for one and try to find one! For six months, we’ve sat in her recliners every Monday, drinking coffee and going through a book and talking and praying and she shares wisdom and insights and my skittish spirit settles. We met through my new church (where I’ve been the last year and managed [by God’s grace] not to run away from). Maybe pray and see if there is an older, wiser Christian that you can ask to help you not be a lost, cynical duckling to disciple you.

And, of course, the Bible (the whole thing–I just can’t get over it).

Further up and further in,
Rosalie

p.s. – if you haven’t gone to see Project Hail Mary, please go see it. I saw it 3 times in 7 days with no regrets. It’s why movies are made.

p.p.s. – leave your book recommendations in the comments, please. I’m trying to read 50 books this year, and of course, my towering TBR is always in need of additions (or should I say… editions 0.0).

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September 11, 2025

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Uh, This is Random

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All Good Things [a poem]

Good morning, friends.

I could say it’s been too long since I last posted. That would be true. Let’s cut to the chase.

I’m posting a poem today, and I may post more poems and things in the days to come. No one really knows. These last 365 days have been everything I didn’t expect, and while I will not explain it here at present, for those who are concerned (or may be at the end of this post whoops): never fear, for I am well. Jesus’ grip of grace is strong. This is a lament; it is not meant to be anything else.

Whenever I post on here, I remember myself at fifteen–alone among the corn fields, following after God and encountering so many things I had no concept for, and the books and blogs my Father in heaven gave me to help me along the way. I pray this poem finds my fellow pilgrims at the right time.

Sometimes it seems
Like all the endings are sad.

The baby is unrecognizable because it’s been too long since I’ve seen him,
The pastor lies and manipulates,
They smile at me but hurt the ones I love,
The dog is buried along with my childhood,
The church falls apart,
Too many goodbyes must be said,
The brotherhood between Cassius and Darrow and Roque is destroyed and so are real life brotherhoods flayed before my eyes,
Harvey becomes Two-Face,
Theoden buries Theodred,
The Tales of Goldstone Wood go unfinished while lesser stories are penned,
The voices of the children no longer fill the meadow,
The brother lives too far away,
It really was just a dream,
The girl calls and tells me her mother has died,
All these ghosts
They haunt me.

There are days
And battles
And parties
And conversations
And dance floors
And forts
And joys
That are irretrievable
Dead now
Existing only in memories
Joyful yet
Unmistakably
Colored with loss
For I cannot return to them
And sin has assured
That they will never live again.

These ghosts
Are like
Hunger pains
Or swallowing a sea
Or suffocating
Or endless bleeding.

Must it all
Come to grief?

Is anything safe
From sadness?

Is any
Friendship
Memory
Hero
Joy
Safe from the loss
That seems
So inevitable
So inescapable
So irreversible.

Will they by my enemies until our resurrection?
Does the hero have to die?
Why do I have to watch as my sister cries?

Longing and loss
These twins.
The longing for:
The lost things to be found once more
The unfinished things to be written
The dead things to rise again
The return and redemption of it all.

Why must I now regard
All warmth as fleeting
All safety as illusion
All belonging as temporary?

In these times
I groan with the earth from which I was taken,
My soul crying out within me:
Come, Lord Jesus, come.
Come make all the sad untrue.
Come reign in unmitigated goodness and might.

Help me, oh dear God
For I am sick with longing for home.
To bid longing goodbye
And always be satisfied
To tell loss farewell
And hold all joy securely.

For until I go
To the New Jerusalem
All good things must come to an end.

This poem ends sad, but in the words of Dave Radford of The Gray Havens: This is not the end.

Further up and further in,
Rosalie

p.s. – seriously, I promise I’m okay. I’m coming out on the other side of these things, and that’s why I’m posting this here at all. Jesus is really as strong and good as he said (I don’t have a specific verse to reference, just the entire Bible), and he gave me a beautiful set of parents and siblings who have pointed me to the Bible and fought with me and for me.

p.p.s. – if you didn’t get that reference about Cassius, Darrow, and Roque, you should read the Red Rising trilogy by Pierce Brown. You’re welcome, and I’m sorry. Also, if you didn’t know (as I didn’t know) that Anne Elisabeth Stengl stopped writing The Tales of Goldstone Wood (arguably some of the most beautiful Christian art of the 21st century) to write spicy romance novels (trash), now you know. I am still not over that. In fact, I’m getting upset right now just thinking about it.

p.p.p.s. – if you want to talk about God’s providence, we have to talk about the release of Benjamin William Hastings’ Sold out, sincerely album coming within days of life as I knew it coming apart.

p.p.p.p.s. – okay, I’m done for real now.