How Strange [the last poem in the church cataclysm trilogy]

Intro where I talk about how I cannot believe/fathom that the entire first quarter of 2026 is already over.

Now, onto the next stuff.

This will be the last poem I share on the subject of October 2024. Consider it the last in the tiny poetic trilogy that started with All Good Things and then Make Something New. If you know, you know. If you don’t know, I will simply say that the church I moved 1200 miles to help plant (i.e. – help start) fell apart in October of 2024. You could say I was not having the time of my life for a minute there (hence All Good Things and a host of other poems and prayers and gnashings of my teeth).

By the grace of Jesus, I am still walking with God and am now a part of another church (perhaps I’ll write about why I’d choose to join myself to another church when 2 of the 3 I’ve been part of have imploded in ways that have catastrophically altered my brain chemistry).

But for now: a final poem.

How strange it is
To live in today
In a moment I could not have
Imagined
Fathomed
Hoped for
Believed possible
A year ago.

All those days of grief
I knew in my heart
Better days would come
But to live in those better days
To see them come to pass…
How strange.

Father, thank you
For those days
And for these days.

How strange
To see a bud on the branches
I might have sworn were dead.

How strange
To feel the sun
Warm my face
Warm my soul.

How strange
To experience familiarity
To be called by name
To be a little known
After 400 days of sojourning.

How strange
To have the painstaking
Foundation-laying
Finished
And be able to
Live in a home
Once again.

How strange
To have roots
Finally
Pushing into new soil
After the cataclysm
Of the transplant.

How strange
To take off at a run
Full tilt
When I wondered
If I’d ever walk again.

How strange
To dream of the future
Once again.

How strange
To have memories of the pain
But to
At last
Not be in pain.

How strange
To be in the days
Where the
Quiet
Secret
Precious
Patient
Work of the Spirit
And his salve that is truth
And his splint that is time
Bring forth
At last
A bud.

How strange
To be
Well again.


And just for fun (because this is a blog, not a serious publication, ladies and gents), here are some things that are currently keeping my heart from growing cold as I continue on the pilgrim way home to Jesus. Of course, they’re mostly songs. Smh, classic.

Shai Linne’s Attributes of God album takes my feelings out of myself and roots me (whole being: thoughts, feelings, zeal, etc.) in who God is and what he’s like. This album is a triumph, particularly Self-Sufficiency (which begins with a sermon excerpt), Lord of Patience, and Triune Praise Remix. (Yeah, your girl finally got got by Christian rap).

Another rap rec: Shai Linne’s track Immutable from his Still Jesus album. It’s straight fire.

Delighting in the Trinity by Michael Reeves was a Godsend last year when I read it. Surprisingly funny and deeply encouraging, this is a must read for Christians because it is all about why the God of the Bible and the Christian faith is Trinitarian (3 in 1) and some of the implications of that. I didn’t think a book on the Trinity had any business being this life-giving (my surprise is proof that I still know nothing), but it was a banger from start to finish.

The Zion Acoustic Album. I’ve learned for myself that Scandal of Grace is never not the vibe.

Shane and Shane’s Praise to the Lord (Joyful, Joyful) medley is a can’t stop won’t stop recalibrator of my soul; it gets my eyes and my heart on the Father in all his majesty, goodness, and delight.

John Mark McMillan’s Nothing Stands Between Us is a joyful anthem about how there’s no enmity between Christians and God, just love, and I could dance to it into eternity.

Weekly coffee with Judy (sorry if you don’t know Judy–your loss). Since you likely don’t have Judy (a woman at my new church who has been discipling me), pray for one and try to find one! For six months, we’ve sat in her recliners every Monday, drinking coffee and going through a book and talking and praying and she shares wisdom and insights and my skittish spirit settles. We met through my new church (where I’ve been the last year and managed [by God’s grace] not to run away from). Maybe pray and see if there is an older, wiser Christian that you can ask to help you not be a lost, cynical duckling to disciple you.

And, of course, the Bible (the whole thing–I just can’t get over it).

Further up and further in,
Rosalie

p.s. – if you haven’t gone to see Project Hail Mary, please go see it. I saw it 3 times in 7 days with no regrets. It’s why movies are made.

p.p.s. – leave your book recommendations in the comments, please. I’m trying to read 50 books this year, and of course, my towering TBR is always in need of additions (or should I say… editions 0.0).

Place (volume i) [a poem]

Lolz, hello, my faithful followers.

I won’t say where I’ve been or what I’ve been up to except that… I’m engaged!

LOL, nope.

If you fell for that trick a second time, it’s not on me, it’s on you. By now, you should know that if I fall off the face of the earth for a while and come back saying, “I’m engaged!” it’s definitely code for “I am not engaged”. It’s simple language, guys, get with the times.

Anyweys, ahem.

I have a free form poem to share that I wrote this spring. I like it. It was helpful to write. I hope you like it too. I hope it’s helpful to read.

I know:
My place is with You
And that doesnโ€™t change.

My place is with You.
My home is with You.

And Youโ€™re not
Giving away my place.

You wonโ€™t:
Displace
Misplace
Replace
Me.

That seat beside You
The one at Your table:
Itโ€™s mine.
Always has been
Always will be.

So I donโ€™t have to fear:
Losing any other place
Not my place in another personโ€™s heart
Or my place in their life
Or my place among Your people
Or my place at work
Because:
My place is
Irrevocably
With You.

Part of me fears
Has always feared
But wonโ€™t always fear
That Youโ€™d give my seat away
To someone
Better
Healthier
Stronger
Steadier
More obedient
More faithful
More beautiful.

But You didnโ€™t give me
My seat
My place
For any good reason in me.

I wasnโ€™t:
Beautiful to catch Your eye
Or witty to charm Your heart
Or lovely in spirit to woo You
Or strong to fill some lack in You.

I was:
Broken
Scarred
Some things bent far out of place
In the deep places of my soul
Crippled
Wallowing in my own filth
Trapped and dead in sin
Unable to even comprehend
How revolting I should have been to You,
You, oh, Lovely Son of heaven.

But You:
Require no more beauty
Need no more strength
Lack no power
That You would look outside Yourself.

But You:
Invited me in
Chose me
Loved me
Called me
Redeemed me
Out of the abundance in Your everlasting heart.

You told me:
Thereโ€™d always be
A place for me with You.

You washed my wounds
Washed me clean
Dressed me in:
Your own respectable robes
Called me by:
Your righteous family name
When as yet
I was not
Am not
Respectable or righteous.

And You gave me that seat
Right next to You
Forever invited to Your table
Never to be uninvited
Never to be unwelcome
Never to lose
My place
With You.

And so I am
And so I will be
A cripple
Dining at the table
Of the Good King
My Good King.

And so I am
And so I will
Fit forever into
Your kingdom
Fit forever into
The place You picked for me
The seat
The role
The calling
The life
Of just being invited
Of just being welcomed
Of just being loved
By You.


That’s all for today.

Further up and further in,

Rosalie

p.s. – I’m working on some ContentTM to share, so keep a weather eye on your inbox.

p.p.s. – I also rejoined the Instagram world. After Tony Reinke AND Andrew Peterson both released books without my knowledge, I realized I wanted to get back onto social media. I feel sooooo much better about it and am in a better place mentally, emotionally, spiritually, grammatically, and economically than I was before with social media. Don’t ask me what I’m doing there because I don’t know. Like maybe it’s a personal Insta account just for lolz (I know, I need to stop saying “lol” and “lolz” but it’s just so… accurate), but also maybe it’s just an aesthetic account with slow motion video, but also maybe I’ve been toying with infographics and acting like I’m some sort of ProfessionalTM or InfluencerTM (who am I kidding–in my mind I’ve been an influencer since birth). My pictures are black and white and awesome looking, I will say that.

Advent: Christ the Lord

We come to the final post in this advent series. Weโ€™ve gone from prophets to angels to shepherds to Mary this advent season, and now we come to the One weโ€™ve been waiting for, Christ the Lord.

advent 5.jpg

Heโ€™s more than just a tiny baby. We canโ€™t put Him in a box for Christmas as an adorable little boy because all that He Is is infinite. We canโ€™t confine our understanding of Him to just the baby the angels spoke of and the shepherds searched for because Jesus has never been just anything. He Has Been for all eternities past, and He Will Be for future eternities.

Jesus is the fulfillment of the Law and the prophets. Heโ€™s the King of the angels. Heโ€™s the Savior of the shepherds.

Long before the power of the Holy Spirit overshadowed Mary, Jesus was with God, and Jesus was God. All things were made through Him, and in Him is life. He is the Alpha and the Omega. He is the triune God, the second Person in the Trinity. Heโ€™s been intimately involved in the history of the world since time began, and Heโ€™s been known by many names.

Yahweh.

The Almighty.

Adonai.

The Most High.

His coming was foretold for millennia, from the protoevangelium in Genesis 3:15 right up to when Gabriel told Mary she would bear the Son of the Most High. There was so much expectation and longing and hope tied to His first coming. Earth and Heaven waited for the fullness of time to come, and when it came, they rejoiced. Zechariah and Elizabeth. Mary and Joseph. Angels. Shepherds. Simeon. Anna. Magi.

The Everlasting God took on the fragile, mortal flesh of man. The King of Heaven stepped down from His throne. The Ancient of Days chose to become a baby.

Jesus came here knowing that, in just over three decades, He would die here. He didnโ€™t have to come; Heโ€™s never owed mortal man anything. But He came anyway. He came to reconcile His spiritually dead elect back to Himself. He knew how steep the cost would be to save the souls of men, but being loving beyond imagination, He paid that price.

Paul says this in Philippians 2: โ€œHave this in mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, Who, though He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore, God has highly exalted Him and bestowed on Him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus, every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.โ€

Jesus showed His supremacy and preeminence when He rose from the dead after three days in the grave. Then, He ascended back to Heaven where He sits at the right hand of the throne of God.

He is the living One. He is the holy One. He is the true One. The Firstborn of the dead. The Faithful Witness. The Ruler of the Kings on earth.

Iโ€™m reminding you all of this because I needed to be reminded of it. I needed to remember that Heโ€™s far more than I usually think, especially around this time of year. I fall into the rut of โ€œBaby Jesusโ€, and I forget all that He Is. Heโ€™s so far beyond my understanding that I wonโ€™t ever comprehend Him, but I intend to try because Heโ€™s Christ the Lord.

So that’s what I encourage you to reflect on now.

What about you? How do you typically view Jesus? Do you ever struggle to remember Who and what He Is? How does your view of Christ impact how you celebrate Christmas?