I’m Moving to Texas [the FAQs]

Come January 2019, I will no longer live in the wilds of Wisconsin. Instead, I will live among the cacti of Texas.

This is, obviously, a big deal for me, and there are many recurring questions that come up when people learn I’m moving. So, I’ll answer many of those questions in this post.

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Why?

Because for quite some time (over a year and a half now), Jesus has been calling me to join a specific network of church-planting churches.

Luke, my older brother, helped plant a church in Texas this past summer, so as far as church planting goes, it makes the most sense for me to join him and the rest of the planters there.

Where?

The Austin area of Texas.

What will you be doing?

Trying to make disciples, working, writing, reading, coffee shop hopping, etc.—many of the same things I am doing in Wisconsin, only with a different group of people and in a different environment.

Will your parents be going too?

No. At this time, they are called to stay in Wisconsin and continue ministering at the church we’ve been a part of for the last seven and a half years.

I’m the youngest, and I’ve never lived apart from them. This will be a difficult transition for all three of us.

When?

End of 2018, beginning of 2019. (I’ll likely be very flaky as far as my social media/internet presence during the last two weeks of December and the first two weeks of January.)

Do you have a place to live?

Yes! I will be sharing a four-bedroom house with three lovely girls who are a part of the church I am joining. I’ve met them and seen the house, and the way things fell into place as far as these roommates go is part of what convinced me that this is where God wants me right now.

Will this church plant pay you?

No. My service will be purely volunteer—just like all the other planters, just like in any other church.

Well, do you have a job?

Not yet, but there is a pretty good job market in the area, and I am confident that I will find a job exactly when God intends me to.

Will you (finally) be going to college?

No. I don’t think I ever will. Something might change, but the things that I am passionate about and am called to do not require a degree.

Will you keep writing?

Heck yes. It will be harder because I’ll have to work enough hours to pay for living expenses, and it may be a season where I get even slower as a writer. Or perhaps, for inexplicable reasons, I may get faster.

Regardless, by this time, I am confident in my gifting as a writer, and I believe to not write would be foolish mishandling of that gift.

Will Graham go with you?

Graham.jpgFor those of you who may not know Graham, he is my dearly beloved cat. I raised him from kittenhood, and he is my Precious. But he cannot come. Not only would he struggle to adjust to life as an indoor cat after living so much of his life outside, but housing is a problem as one of my roommates is allergic.

So Graham will remain in Wisconsin where he can continue to roam cornfields and torture sparrows like the heartless psychopath that he is. As difficult as it is to leave him, I honestly think he will be far happier in Wisconsin than he would be if I wrangled a way for him to come to Texas.

How close is the nearest library?

Oh, finally, an important question. xP Under fifteen minutes!

But what about winter?

You’d be surprised how much I get this question, but apparently a lot of people know I adore winter and snow and cold…. but I am moving to a freaking desert. I will learn to live without.

What if you’re wrong about God’s calling?

Then I am wrong, and God will redirect me as he is more than capable of doing.

Trust me, I considered and agonized over this far more than I should have. But I have received wise counsel from both my parents and another mentor, and I have come to realize that I can’t mess this up. *shrug* If I go and I’m wrong, I’ll come back or go wherever else God leads instead. Regardless, God will use this to grow me in many, many ways.

Well. That’s that.

Now you know. If you have any other questions, drop them in the comments below.

It seems like I’m not quite myself as I write this post. This announcement has been a long time coming, but I’ve been putting it off because as excited as I am and as certain I am that this is what Jesus has for me, it’s been really hard too.

I don’t want to be away from my parents; I never have. And Texas is very far away from my parents.

I don’t want to be away from Arielle, Caleb, and Janie—my other siblings. But, again, Texas is very far away from them.

even in tears.JPGI don’t want to leave the family I’ve worked with for the past two years as a nanny. I realize that the kids won’t recognize me as early as six months after I’m gone, and it will be hard to keep up with their mom and dad whom I love.

I don’t want to leave the friends that I’ve taken years to get close to. I don’t want to leave my cat or the dogs I’ve grown up with (as silly as that sounds).

But I had no peace until I decided to join this church plant. As awful as saying goodbye will be and even now as it chokes me as I realize I have less than two months left with these people whom I love, the unrest from and resistance to the Holy Spirit was eating me. I have to at least try it.

And I think that we are called to some things simply because they are hard for us.

So I’m going to Texas. May Jesus increase, and may I decrease.

With love,

Rosalie

p.s. – regularly scheduled Penprints will return next week, and I hope to get a High Command memo out this week.

p.p.s. – I just want to clarify: I am incredibly excited about moving to Texas. It may sound like I’m not, but that’s just because the sad aspects the move are inescapable.

When Inspiration Doesn’t Strike

*insert swanky post preface that gets you jazzed for the rest of this post*

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I considered announcing that I would be taking the rest of 2018 off when it comes to blogging. In other words, I’d quit Penprints until January 2019.

Because by January 2019, life will have settled down.

Or so I told myself as I looked at my list of blog post ideas with no interest in any of them (no, not even that Deep Work one I keep saying I want to write).

Here’s the deal. I know life will not “settle down” by January 2019. In fact, in lots of ways, it will be crazier than ever.

So why would I quit blogging for two and a half months?

Because I’m tired. Because my creativity is dwindling, and I want to channel what creativity I have to my novel-writing. Because I’m not inspired.

My life is not super hectic right now. There are occasional flares of craziness, but overall, it isn’t too stressful (but as we all know, my stress threshold is not high). The issue is a mixture of being lazy, mentally and emotionally burned out, and creatively worn out.

I’ve been on the edge of burnout on all fronts all year.

Jesus has been very gracious to me, and he’s arranged for events, trips, and people to be like defibrillators to me. He has been very good to me, so this isn’t a complaint against him. This is just honesty about how I’ve been fumbling around trying to figure out if I’m doing too much or not enough.

I know that a lot of it is my fault—it is me not being wise with my time, it is me sometimes simply not doing the work because I don’t want to (on all the theaters of war here, people—intense Bible study, my novels, my relationships, etc.), it is me digging myself deeper into a hole.

I’ve just not been feeling it. And by “it” I mean inspiration. It has not been striking, and so I haven’t been doing as much doing.

Creative work is tricky—you can’t force or fake it, and sometimes you do have to quit for a bit to rest and recuperate. Usually, however, you still have enough energy to create something. Usually, the creativity isn’t the problem. Usually, inspiration is the problem.

Inspiration is as reliable as feelings, friends (which, in case you weren’t sure, are super unreliable). That’s all there is to it.

Inspiration comes. And then inspiration goes. And then inspiration goes missing. And then inspiration is presumed dead. And then suddenly, inspiration has a resurrection. But then inspiration might run away to join the circus.

And where does that leave us? Without inspiration.

The big question is: what will we do when inspiration does not strike?

Will we do a rain dance, hoping it will return? Will we scroll through Pinterest for an hour searching for it? Will we take a nap to escape the reality that it might never come back? Will we let a blank screen crush the life out of us?

Do we quit the blog for two months? Do we shelve the novel until further notice? Do we close the sketchbook for weeks? Do we leave the song unfinished?

Do we take a break? Push it off until tomorrow? Take the path of least resistance?

Or, will we keep going, inspiration or not?

Here’s the deal: forget inspiration.

Just screw it. Screw feelings too, for that matter. Forget hype and positivity.

Life is chaos. It will never “settle down.”

Inspiration is flaky. We will never nail it down.

When life is chaos, do it anyway. When inspiration doesn’t strike, do it anyway. When you’re tired, do it anyway. When you want to be lazy, do it anyway. When your emotions are on a loop, do it anyway.

Exercise wisdom about what is important. Exercise wisdom in when you actually need breaks. (And if you don’t have wisdom, start walking with the wise and get wisdom.)

But, as a general rule, do it anyway.

Write the book. Craft the blog post. Paint the picture. Hang the drywall. Edit the story. Finish the song. Draw the comic.

Carve out the time to cultivate your creativity, but do not bow to inspiration.


I write this post because I have been working on the second draft of False Gods since April, and I’m not even halfway through it.

April, people. April.

In case you didn’t read that right: APRIL.

Part of this because I am simply slow. Part of it is because it’s taken this long to get some things ironed out/developed in my head. And part of it is because I’ve waited for inspiration to show up instead of cultivating discipline and creativity.

So here I am with fifteen days until NaNoWriMo, not sure if I’ll be drafting something new or working on what I drafted during NaNoWriMo 2017.

What do you do when inspiration doesn’t strike? Do you find you are emotion/inspiration-driven? Or are you discipline/logic-driven?

With love,

Rosalie

p.s. – a post about cultivating creativity is coming to a Penprints near you in the near future.

p.p.s. – if you haven’t already signed up for the cover reveal of my sci-fi flash fiction collection (Stars and Soul), there’s still time!

Roll With It & Be Wise [musings about upended plans]

I recently read Deep Work by Cal Newport—a book centered around the idea of cutting out distractions and working intensely (i.e. – deeply) for extended periods of time on one project.

It was an incredibly helpful, inspiring, and enjoyable book, and I’m still processing all the ways I’m going to implement it in my life (there’s a blog post coming about it).

This past Wednesday, after finishing Deep Work, I set some big goals for October, outlined how I would reach those goals, scheduled out my days, and then happily drank some chai, pleased with how things were looking because things were looking good.

In fact, things were looking like I maybe had my life together. I would get that newsletter out, edit those chapters in False Gods, do some work on a secret project (the High Command fireflies were going to hear about it in the newsletter), and even perhaps bring order out the chaos that is my bedroom. All before Saturday. Yeah, I had things that together.

But even—or maybe especially—the best laid plans can quickly run merrily off the rails.

roll with it and be wise

Some Background

I won’t go into details because some of the details are not mine to share. Suffice it to say for reasons beyond my (or anyone else’s) control, none of those things got done. None of them.

Come Thursday, my glowingly productive and organized future died a swift and sure death.

People I dearly love unexpectedly needed time-consuming help—help I could give with time God freed up for me weeks ago, help that would require me to let go of many of my glowingly productive and organized plans for a few days.

I was so oddly torn between being so happy to help these that I love but also looking at my completely unchecked to-do list with “I Dreamed a Dream” playing on a loop in my head (please, someone, tell me they know exactly the feeling I’m talking about).

The little planner, goal-setter in me died several times over the course those couple days of not-doing-what-I-had-planned-on-doing as box after box after box in my bullet journal went un-filled. My insecurities about not producing as quickly as my author peers rose up. I wilted whenever I thought of how far behind I was quickly falling.

This is such a bad start to the month and my whole new plan of deep work and productivity, I thought to myself. And whenever I have a bad start, I never accomplish my goals. I’m already so behind; I’ll never catch up. Might as well throw the rest of the month out.

Whenever I made it home from helping my friend, my brain was just dead. Empty. Finished. The newsletter got partway put together and fizzled out. One chapter of False Gods was sort of polished. The secret project just didn’t happen. And the room remained a disaster.

But the Holy Spirit kept whispering that if doing what I was doing took even just a little weight off my friend and her hubby’s minds during their crisis, there was no project I could work on or produce that would be worth more.

“Yes, I know. Obviously,” I replied with an eyeroll. “But my plaaaaannnnnnnnnssssss. My goaaalllllllsssss.” Can you hear the whine?

“Roll with it, the Holy Spirit whispered, ever patient. “Adjust your sails, because these people are what are important right now.”

Why I Share This

Because people, not projects, are what is important right now. In fact, people will always be what is important right now.

Because there are only twenty-four hours in a day, only seven days in a week, only fifty-two weeks in a year, and we must be wise with our time.

Because plans and goals are good and important and helpful, but we are the ones who make those plans and set those goals. They do not rule us; they are not set in stone.

Because unexpected things happen, and we must learn the art of throwing our plans out the window in the name of something better.

Because godly discernment is absolutely necessary for us to live this life well.

Because there are times when we must still buckle down and stick to the plan despite the chaos the around us.

And because there are times when we must realize our plans didn’t leave room for what is more important.

Because in a world of competition and striving and career-chasing, we must remember that it’s okay to not get there first.

Sometimes the world will go around just as we think it should—the laundry will get done, the book will get finished, the blog post will go up, the dinner will be healthy and at a reasonable hour, eight full hours of sleep will be had, Bible study will be delighted in, the emails will get replies, the leaves will be raked, the plan will be executed.

But sometimes things unravel at the seams in ways we never expected. And when those times come, we must be wise with our time, and we must roll with it, carrying the mindset that there are worse things than unexecuted plans and unmet goals.

And besides, trite as it may sound, God’s in control.

With love,

Rosalie

p.s. – that memo from High Command will land in your inbox sometime this week. Probably.

p.p.s. – yes, I realize this post is vague and unhelpful, but it’s a post, which is more than we can say for last week when there was no post at all.

p.p.p.s. – I tend to have an all or nothing mentality; it’s either scheduled to the second or there’s no plan at all. This whole idea of finding “the happy middle” of those two extremes continues to be a stretch for me. Hence, this post which is sort of disjointed and *shudder* half-baked, and I’m still not sure you guys get why I brought up Deep Work at the beginning.

p.p.p.p.s. – there’s a lot more I wanted to include in this post, but my brain’s still like, “Oh, you want to think? Haha, that’s cute.”

p.p.p.p.p.s. – that new Gray Havens album, amiright? Yes, of course I’m right.

p.p.p.p.p.p.s. – okay, I’ll stop now. Bye, kids. *crawls back into the hole of blankly staring at leaves falling from my birch tree* *suddenly realizes this is why Penprints hasn’t gone viral* *couldn’t really tell you what “this” is*

Goodbye September [a fall-ish tag]

Julia from over at Lit Aflame tagged me to do a Hello September tag, but alas September is almost over. So I’m calling it Goodbye September (in case the title of this post didn’t clue you in). Thank you so much for tagging me, Julia!

This is very much a written-in-my-jammies-from-under-a-blanket post. Aka: super chill. Let’s go, kids.

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The Rules:

hello september blog tag.jpg~Please copy the questions below, answer them, and then write out your new questions (or you can even copy these) for the people you nominate below your answered questions.

~Please nominate at least three bloggers, but try to avoid ones that you know have already been tagged.

~Lastly, include these guidelines in your post, and use the tag picture!


The Questions:

  1. Do you like fall? Why or why not?

Yes, I like fall, but not for fall’s sake.

I like fall because it means summer is over and winter is on its way. If you’ve been around Penprints for a while, you may remember this post about how much I love winter. It is my absolute favorite season, and I enjoy fall because it’s the gateway to winter.

I love that though so many things die in the fall, they die in the promise of resting for the winter and bursting back to life in the spring.

So, yes, I like fall.

  1. Favorite fall book?

Now for this one, I couldn’t decide. Because so many of my favorite books take place in the fall or partially in the fall. Like A Time to Die by Nadine Brandes. Like Fawkes by Nadine Brandes. I don’t have a Nadine Brandes problem, I promise. Like The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien.

So for now, let’s go with those three. :)

  1. Favorite fall time memory?

Ohhhh, I really like this question.

My siblings and I were all homeschooled, and Mom would take us out to a pumpkin farm almost every year to pick pumpkins and go through a corn maze and get donuts and such. Those were always fun, very fall-ish trips.

But more dearly than that, I remember school starting up and the little routines Mom would put in place for us. We’d go pick out calendars—one for each of us—and each morning we’d pick a sticker for the weather and then a sticker just for fun to put in our calendars.

Part of our morning routine with the calendars was for my brother Luke (only two years older than me) and me to recite the months of the year, the day’s date, our address, and our phone number to our older sister and brother—Arielle and Caleb. They already knew that info, but they were supposed to help us memorize it.

I don’t know what it is, but I just love thinking about that time in the mornings—excited about my new calendar, picking out stickers, sitting by my sister, rattling off our address to her and Caleb, probably wearing some jeans with embroidered flares and a nice, bulky, pink sweatshirt, Mom somewhere in the background getting other school stuff for the day out.

Even though it’s a mundane memory, I just loved being with them like that—simply and daily. I miss it.

  1. Picture fall as a character and write a small something from his/her pov.

This one is sooo good, but my creativity is nil probably because I was just crying about how my siblings and I are all grown up and won’t be doing the calendar stickers or address recitations together ever again and the happy-sadness drained me. So, I’m going to take a rain check on this one; maybe I’ll make it into a post for later this fall!

  1. Is there a song that makes you think of fall?

I have no idea why, but Lion’s Den by Little Chief makes me want to pull on socks, cozy up in a blanket, and weep for joy. Also, Awake My Soul by Mumford & Sons. Maybe it’s the mellow, calming nature of both songs. I’m not sure.

I just want to climb on a train, listen to those songs, and cry softly and happily as trees of golden orange pass my window. (Trains also make me think of fall? Apparently?) *writes the rest of this post listening to those songs on repeat*

  1. Wind or rain (or both)?

I say both, but if I have to choose, I say rain. I could write a love song to the rain, and maybe I will one day. (Or maybe it’ll be just a really bad poem because I can’t write songs or poetic poetry.)

  1. What is your favorite warm drink?

Chai lattes! Recently, I’ve been getting dirty chais (chai lattes with a shot of espresso), and one of the baristas at my local coffee shop recommended I try it made with half and half instead of whole milk.

Kids, get the chai made with half and half instead of whole milk (it has a special name, but I cannot for the life of me remember it).

I loved chai lattes already; the moment I tasted a chai made with half and half, I wanted to renew our vows (the vows between chai lattes and I, obviously). It was ridiculously, remarkably, and radically delicious. No. joke. (Chai is no joking matter, kids.)

  1. What do you look forward to doing the most in the fall?

Adding layers. I love adding layers.

I love helping the kids I nanny into their fleeces before we go play outside. I love tugging on a hoody. I love having the jackets hanging by the door.

I don’t know what it is about adding layers; it’s just so… warm and close. (I realize this question was probably supposed to be about apple picking or corn mazes or something, but I enjoy the little things.)

  1. What is the worst thing about fall?

Everyone loses their mind about fall.

Either they’re weeping about summer being over OR they’re weeping because they’ve been trying to break out their boots since July. Either they’re super sad and melancholy and whiny OR they’re shouting about fall from the rooftops.

Calm down, people.

  1. Give one tip or challenge for fall.

Regardless of whether you like fall or not, go into the fall of 2018 it with expectancy and hope.

Regardless of whether you’re experiencing a whole bunch of firsts or a whole bunch of lasts, live alive.

Make a fall bucket list and start checking things off.

Stop living in the past. Stop dreaming of the future. Embrace this fall day by day. Embrace this life day by day.

You will never again be with these people in this place at this time ever again, for when the fall of 2019 comes around, you will not be the same person you are now and neither will these people be the same as they are now.

You have been given the fall of 2018 to live once. Live it.


My Questions (I’m totally stealing some of these from Julia):

  1. Favorite fall time memory?
  2. Picture fall as a character and write something from his/her pov!
  3. Give one tip or challenge for this fall.
  4. What books are you reading/wanting to read this fall?
  5. Fall isn’t fall without…
  6. Of all the fall colors, which is your favorite and why?
  7. If you could dress up as anything for Halloween, who/what would you be? Why?
  8. What are ten words that remind you of fall (e.g. – crisp, golden, leaves)?
  9. Create a myth why about leaves change color and fall.
  10. What are you harvesting in your life right now (i.e. – what projects are coming to fruition, what things are you learning, etc.)?

The Tagged:


Pick one of these questions and answer it in the comments! And if you decide to take the tag, leave me the link!

With love,

Rosalie

p.s. – keep a weather eye on my Instagram tomorrow. Crazy things will be happening. O.o

p.p.s. – My dear fireflies (you know who you are)! A very exciting memo from High Command will be coming to your inbox next week. We’ll all just pretend I didn’t totally miss sending out a September memo.

Why The Lion King [in which some of the greatness of this story is explained]

The Lion King is one of my all-time favorite stories.

People tend to look at me funny when they discover this. Apparently, it’s sort of weird that it’s not only one of my favorite animated movies but one of my favorite movies period.

I don’t have very many hills I’d die on. But, the greatness of The Lion King is a hill I’d die on. As it turns out, it’s one of those rare things I’ll drive a stake into the ground and yell “FIGHT ME!” over.  Which is an unusual show of rabid hostility from me. But, alas, I am unashamed.

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hint: i am rafiki

So here we are with this post.

why the lion king

First, let’s dispel some common misconceptions.

Before we get into what The Lion King is all about (aka: why it is so amazing), we need to talk about what it isn’t about. These are just some things that I’ve noticed distract people.

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me to people every time they get confused about what this story is about

It is not about “hakuna matata.” It is not about having no worries or shirking responsibility or having stupid fun with the bros. If this story was about Timon and Pumba, then it might be about hakuna matata. But it’s not about Timon and Pumba.

It is not about how amazing James Earl Jones is as Mufasa. (Though, I mean, come on. He is the best and only Mufasa. #mufasaforever)

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mufasa 2

mufasa 3

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It is also not about how sad Mufasa’s death was…

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but I mean, dang, it was pretty crushing

It is not about all the funny memes that can be created from the “where the light touches” scene (you know of what I speak).

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It is not about the circle of life or the spirits of dead kings being stars. While “The Circle of Life” is majestic song and a brilliant opening scene, this is not a story about the circle of life. The circle of life is a reoccurring symbol.

Now, onto the good stuff.

If the circle of life is a symbol, what does Mufasa mean when he tells Simba to take his place in the circle of life?

mufasa and simba.gif

It means, my friends, be who you were born to be. Do what you were designed to do.

It means take the responsibility. Grow up. The time for games is over. The time for childishness is over. (Instead of “I Just Can’t Wait To Be King,” it is “King of Pride Rock.)

It means that your potential isn’t about you, and it means that wasted potential harms not only you but also those you are meant to help.

It means get over yourself and your fear because this is so much bigger than just you.

It means that true greatness is not self-seeking. True greatness is taking on great burdens for the sake of others. It means step up. It means embrace the difficulty and the stress and the responsibility because you are the person for the job.

And it means that when you begin to step into your potential, when you put childishness behind you, it will not be easy, but nothing else will be so right.

That is what The Lion King is mainly about.

But there is yet more.

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In the beginning, we watched Rafiki happily and hopefully paint a little lion in his tree. He was happy and hopeful not because baby Simba was already a great king; Rafiki was happy and hopeful because of the great king he believed Simba would one day become—a great king who would lead the Pride Lands into another generation of abounding life.

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In the middle, we watched Rafiki smear his little lion painting in despair for he thought the bright future of the Pride Lands was dead with Mufasa and Simba.

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But. then.

Then, Rafiki learns Simba is still alive. And The Lion King is also about that moment: it is about Rafiki’s incredulous, raucous joy when he discovers that Simba is still alive.

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When hope had been gone for so long, and then suddenly finding that hope is alive and well. There is nothing like that wild rush of wild joy.

It is about how Mufasa looks down on Simba, a shape in the clouds, calling Simba to remember who he is.

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It is about how that rings in my bones as a call to remember who I am—whose child I am, whose slave I am, what gifts and callings have been written in my very cells.

It is about the strangely wonderful gooseflesh that flashes through when the rightful, true king at last takes his place.

rightful king 2

rightful king 5

It is about the rain that washes away the death of the night and begins the healing process.

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I love Simba and The Lion King for the other, greater stories they reminds me of.

When I see Simba making that run from the jungle back to the Pride Lands, I also see Leo from the Tales of Goldstone Wood trekking to find Rose Red.

When I watch Simba climb Pride Rock in the rain, I also see Aragorn finally embracing his calling and responsibility as the true king of Gondor, and I see all the hope and healing his return brought to the White City.

But more than that, I see Moses returning to Egypt after all those long years of exile, becoming the great and humble prophet he was knit together to be.

Most of all, I see Jesus. I see Jesus drinking the cup given Him by the Father, drinking it to the dregs. I see Him dying, victorious. I see Him rising, victorious. I see Him returning, victorious. Forever victorious.

I see the dead coming back to life, and the great, final healing He will bring about. I see all the prophets rejoicing—wildly, raucously—for the One, at last, fulfilling all their visions. I see every knee in heaven and on earth and under the earth bowing before our long-awaited true King. I see the saints and angels crying out, “All hail King Jesus.

This is the strange and wonderful power of stories.

Through characters that have never really drawn breath, echoes of truth resound. Those echoes ricochet deep in us, moving, encouraging, calling out, galvanizing.

Set in the breath-taking African plains, The Lion King is one of my favorite stories. And now you know why.

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What is one of your favorite stories? What is one of your favorite animated movies? Tell me why!

With love,

Rafiki Rosalie

p.s. – so, yes, feel free to send me The Lion King related gifts. (But if it’s hakuna matata related, I might burn it.)