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February 19, 2018

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A Love Letter to the Tales of Goldstone Wood [yeah, it’s a fangirl post]

I first heard about the Tales of Goldstone Wood while with my cousins eight years ago. Brittany, my eldest cousin, showed me a beautiful book she had picked up for just a few dollars at a little bookstore. It had one of the loveliest covers I had ever seen. It was titled Heartless, and it was written by Anne Elisabeth Stengl.

It is the first book in the Tales of Goldstone Wood series, and it is my childhood. (Warning: this is a major nostalgic fangirl post with so many references that many won’t understand…. but I really don’t care. #sorrynotsorry)

love letter 1.jpg

I’ve always enjoyed fantasy, living off of The Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia for as long as I can remember, but The Tales of Goldstone Wood took that love to a new level.

I read Heartless three times before Veiled Rose was released (Heartless was published in 2010, and Veiled Rose came out in 2011…). I devoured Veiled Rose and then Moonblood, but whatever expectations I had for the series could not prepare me for what came next. Starflower and Dragonwitch completely outdid everything that had come before them.

The books just. kept. getting. better.

Goddess Tithe, the first novella, was released on the heels of Dragonwitch, taking breath away yet again. When the opportunity arose, I signed up for the cover reveal for Shadow Hand, completely delighted that I could participate.

Bits and pieces about Golden Daughter were dropped, then came the cover and the buzz about how long it was (584 packed pages). Then Draven’s Light, a huge “novella” fitting the hugeness of the series, was released. I cried while reading it. Repeatedly.

The depth and richness of everything in the Tales of Goldstone Wood is incomparable. There are many excellent modern fantasy novels, but the Tales of Goldstone Wood series towers over all of them. There are so many good fantasy stories out there, but The Tales of Goldstone Wood dominates on every level.

So much can be said about the world(s) captured in the series–the cultures and kingdoms and histories. The lordly sun and the lady moon. The glory and purity of the starry sky. The Faerie kings and queens with their three lives. The halls of the Merry People and the throne room of the goblin queen. Rivers and all their craftiness. The Dragon and his kiss. The Knights of Farthest Shore and the Lumil Eliasul. Much can also be said about the stories with all their complexity and twists and the threads that trace through them—the wild fun and the wild danger.

But the world would be only interesting and the stories would be only adventures if it weren’t for the characters. The characters are what make these books more than just stories. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over the people that leaped off the page and commanded attention and affection, each one unique and so so so so real.

stengl 1 I never much cared for the Chronicler or Leta—probably because I’m very partial to Alistair and didn’t like that they didn’t see or appreciate his greatness—but the Brothers Ashiun stole my heart, their story devastating me every time I read it. Somehow, I came to adore even the Flame at Night with all her fire, hatreds, lies, and brokenness.

Not many people loved Una, but she was dear to me even with all her selfish whining. Felix, that dastardly little fiend of brother, has never stopped making me laugh, and watching Leo grow from the boy-prince into manhood with much trial and error is still one of my favorite things.

I wasn’t a fan of Daylily and Foxbrush, but that’s probably because I’m very, very partial to Leo, Rose Red, and Una (it’s like a love pentagon).

Draven’s courage and Ita’s resolve will never not give me tears and chills. I haven’t met Sairu yet, but from what I’ve heard, I think I’ll like her. The Panther Master broke my heart, and I sorely miss Sun Eagle.

Imraldera, the sweet, brave Starflower; oh, how she taught me compassion. And words cannot express the place Eanrin has in my heart, the most cat-ish poet to ever grace the page, so fierce and noble and unexpected in every way.

For whatever reason, I stopped reading the Tales of Goldstone Wood a few years ago, but then Anne Elisabeth Stengl announced that she won’t be writing any more of them.

So I went back to my shelf and stared at the books, feeling strangely, deeply sad. Heartless, Starflower, and Dragonwitch are on my special Favorites of All Time shelf. Golden Daughter sits on my To Be Read shelves. The others are gathered together on their own shelf, and I decided it’s time to revisit all the beloved places and reacquaint myself with all the beloved people.

This time, I’m reading them in chronological order—the order they take place, not the order they were published. Starflower has already reclaimed its place in my heart, and I’m nearly finished with Dragonwitch, dying over Eanrin, Imraldera, Hri Sora, Etanun, Mouse, and Alistair all over again.

I know not everyone who reads Penprints will “get” this post, but it’s been a long time coming. The Tales of Goldstone Wood are a prime example of the power and beauty of stories. They are pure, beautiful, and everything stories should be.

It’s strange how they only get better the more I read them, how sad and happy they make me at the same time, how much I’ve learned from them about people and life and myself and God, how deeply they delight and compel at the same time.

What stories made up your childhood? Have you read any Tales of Goldstone Wood? Do you have a favorite?

With love,

Rosalie

P.S. – I may not post next week. We’ll see. If I do, should I post about hope when hope is gone or the importance of growing up.

P.P.S. – I realize that as a love letter, this should probably have been addressed to the series instead of just talking about the series, but I thought talking to a stack of books might be a little odd. So I figured I had better just talk about them as if they were real since that’s less weird. ;)

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February 12, 2018

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God, Life, The Christian Life

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When You’re Sad to Be Single

This is not a post for discontented singles. There is a difference between a sad single and a discontented single. Sadness is an emotion to be felt and processed. Discontentment is a state of the heart to be softened and changed.

A contented single is satisfied in God regardless of their relationship status. They know where their identity and value are rooted. Whether subconsciously or consciously, they know and believe that God is more than enough for them.

A discontented single is the opposite. They are dissatisfied and unfulfilled in God while single. Some blame and become angry with God for their celibacy. Others battle insecurity and lack of identity, believing that if they had a special someone they would be satisfied and fulfilled.

This post is for the sad but contented single.

I’m not going to put up a case for contentment in singleness because way too many others have said it better before me, and if you’re not content yet, another blog post about the joys of singleness isn’t going to get you there. That’s between you and God.

Hopefully this helps some sad, contented singles deal with sorrow, especially since Valentine’s Day is this week.

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Being sad is not sinful, but as with all emotions, we must be careful how we handle it lest it become bitterness and/or discontentment. Different things can set off sadness. I have spent the last year amazingly happy and satisfied with God and singleness. But sometimes things happen, and I get… sad. I encounter a taste of what a relationship can be, and wistfulness and loneliness set in.

So many things can prompt this odd sense of loss, and it’s different for each person.

For those who have not always been single, it may be seeing pictures of a former girlfriend with a new boyfriend on social media. Or it maybe it’s an old anniversary that is an anniversary no longer. Or a song bringing back a wave of memories and feelings in the strange, powerful way only music can work, tying lyrics and melodies to moments and seasons in life.

For those who have always been single, it might be watching a romantic movie that leaves a longing after the credits role. Or it could be the seemingly endless stream of endlessly happy couples on social media. Or perhaps it’s something that comes in a dream from which waking feels like a loss (an especially bewildering thing since it’s a loss of something that was never actually there in the first place).

But what to do with it?

When you’re sad to be single, it’s strange because it feels almost as if you’re missing a specific person. In some cases, maybe you are, but for singles like me, there’s no person to miss but still a sense of loss and a yearning for reunion.

Obviously, I am no expert, so this is by no means comprehensive since I don’t know what it’s like to cope with and process sadness and loneliness after a relationship—whether dating, engagement, or marriage—dissolves.

Take the time to be sad and even mourn, but don’t wallow. This is one of those things that is so hard to balance since emotions—especially strong ones—need to be felt to be processed.

You can’t just stuff them down to the bottom of your heart and muscle your way through. That doesn’t work because the sadness doesn’t go away; it sits and ferments. And sadness left too long doesn’t foster and give birth to healthy emotions. Sadness can be a precursor to bitterness, anger, and depression, and it’s surprising just how quickly that can happen, especially if a rose-colored reminder of a past relationship is what brought the sadness on in the first place.

But wallowing can result in the same thing. If, instead of bottling it up, you sit in it and dwell on it, sadness and what follows will control you. Your thoughts will start to circle back to it more and more until you’re under the thumb of your emotions.

Perhaps it goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway just in case: the only thumb any of us should be under is the Holy Spirit’s. He should be the guiding and controlling force. He is altogether trustworthy; our hearts and feelings are not (like, at all).

Be honest with yourself and God. Don’t bury it or ignore it. Don’t revisit it again and again. Don’t pretend it’s more than it is. Don’t pretend it’s less than it is.

Pray and do whatever else you must to work through it. Talk to a trusted friend or mentor. Journal. Read some Psalms. Listen to good music. Take a walk. Exercise. Write a song. Paint. Give the dog a bath.

And if you’re not “getting better” after a little while, get a little more aggressive with your dealings with your sadness.

Pray more and suit up. Take time to remember specifically how God has satisfied and met all your needs as a single thus far. Read 1 Corinthians 7 aloud (and when I say read it aloud, I mean actually read it aloud). Tell someone you know will pray with and for you that you’re struggling; this is no time for embarrassment or going at it alone. Read Psalm 16 aloud (yeah, actually read it aloud). If you must cry, cry out to God.

Turn away from sorrow and run towards joy. Run towards the joy of your salvation–Jesus. Race after the lover of your soul–Jesus. Hurtle towards your greatest reward–Jesus. Fix Jesus—His character, His faithfulness in all things—at the front of your mind and go.

Acknowledge and work through your sadness. It’s not something to be ashamed of; it’s a reminder that we are not complete—we are not perfect—until the day we look Jesus in His holy, flaming eyes. Watch out for depression, bitterness, and anger. Remember that sadness is not for forever, and so don’t live like it is.

With much love,

Rosalie

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February 5, 2018

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Life, Uh, This is Random

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Winter Bucketlist 2018

Since we are almost halfway through winter, I should probably have put this up on the ol’ blog a while ago or not at all, but whatevs. I like winter, and I haven’t even gotten to most of the stuff on this list, so it’s basically new.

winter bucketlist.jpg

Finish Draft Five of Beasts. Yeah, this old rag. Right now I’m doing a lot of re-evaluating of themes and characters. It’s an unruly story, and if it’s not careful, it will get torn down and rebuilt again.

this gif makes all the blood, sweat, and tears I’ve poured into Beasts okay

Reread The Evaporation of Sofi Snow by Mary Weber. The sequel–Reclaiming Shilo Snow–comes out on March 6, so I need to refresh on this beautiful, difficult story.
Reread Unblemished by Sara Ella. The final book in the trilogy comes out this May, and so I need to start in on the reread of Unblemished and read Unraveling so I’m all set for when Unbreakable comes out (I’ve had Unraveling for several months, but I decided to wait until closer to Unbreakable‘s release to read it since I’ve heard it’s a heart breaker).
Register for Realm Makers. (Done!)
Memorize Psalm 46. There are so many Psalms I want to memorize, but Psalm 46 is currently one of my favorites. It’s only eleven verses, so I think it shouldn’t take me too long to get this baby down.
Submit two pieces for publication. (one down, one to go)
Some sort of polar plunge thing. Apparently all the official polar plunges take place on New Year’s Day. In case you hadn’t noticed, that’s already long gone. SO, I’ll probably wait until some of the ice melts on the lake and just go jump in with a few people hanging around to make sure they can drag me out in case I black out from the cold. (Fun fact for you: this is actually research for Flickering Lights.)
Visit an art museum. (Done!)
Read a book about French impressionists. As it turns out, I enjoy French impressionist paintings a lot. So I’m on the lookout for a good book about those French geniuses.
Go ice skating. I’ve only done it once before in my life. I had a very up-close and personal relationship with the ice and a bunch of bruises by the time I left the rink, but it was fun! I definitely want to try it again.
Go on an early morning walk in the snow. This needs no explanation.
Walk on a frozen lake. (Done!)
Go sledding. This is mainly because I recently rewatched The Giver and love the wonder of the main character when he goes on his first sled ride. I want to relearn some of that wonder.
Go snow skiing. I’ve also only done this once before–maybe I’ll tell you guys about that adventure sometime–and I MUST DO IT AGAIN.
Electronic detox. E’rebody needs one of these periodically, and it’s about time I had another one.
Watch Black Panther. No explanation needed.
Rewatch Gifted. I cannot stop thinking about this movie. I must rewatch it and take notes. So good.
Go to an open mic. Probably not to perform anything but just to get out of the house and do something I haven’t in a while.

What about you? Are there any things you want to do before spring melts the snow??

With love,

Rosalie

P.S. – nine days until Valentine’s Day, people.

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January 29, 2018

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God, Life

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The Things that Wake Up When the Lights Go Out [thoughts on sleeplessness]

A lot of things came together to inspire this post.

I’m not usually an insomniac, but a few times a month something comes up that keeps me awake when I’m trying to sleep, something that wakes up when the lights go out. My Grandpa rarely—if ever—sleeps through the night because of all his broken parts. The little boy I nanny suffers from nightmares. Many dear ones feel the weight of life most keenly when it’s time to sleep and they’re alone with their thoughts. And there are so many others. Thus, this post.

So this goes out to all those who are as wakeful as I am and especially to those who are more so. These are the measures I take to make use of the time when I’d rather be sleeping and/or combat the things lurking in the dark. Pick and choose what proves helpful for you.

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Things can go… bad in the dark, after the lights have been turned off, the covers have been snuggled under, and the silence has set in.

Sometimes the mind shakes off any semblance of sleepiness and decides to wake up all the way and ruminate over the stresses of life—the next bill to be paid, the child who left God, the mess that is the relationship with a friend, the car that is currently throwing that check engine light again (like, it must be doing it just for kicks now, right?), upcoming tests that you feel like you should be cramming for instead of trying to catch up on all your sleep debt, or whatever other stressers might be robbing you of your sleep.

Sometimes the mind takes a darker turn, one toward self-harm and inadequacy and silent tears and a sense of helplessness. Isolation folds in and a millstone drops on the chest, suffocating, crushing, draining.

Sometimes the mind twists toward something else, something more alluring. Fantasies in the dark can feel anonymous, an inviting cocoon to drop into in the wake of loneliness and unfulfilled emotional and physical desires.

Other times, the mind runs its merry way right to sleep… but then the whole body is frozen awake by a nightmare that leaves the heart racing and the mind shivering. Every sound in the hall is the footstep of humanity’s most depraved approaching the bedroom door.

And yet other times still, wakefulness isn’t due to stress so much as it’s due to bones that were once broken and still ache enough to keep you awake. A hip, a back, a migraine, something physical that won’t let rest come.

So here are four things that help me.

Pray. I am a firm believer in the sweet tenderness that God has for his people and that he is more than able to meet every one of my needs—including pouring out the purest comfort on my unsettled heart and mind. So, when rest is not restful, I pray with honesty. There’s nothing more peaceful than taking refuge in God and falling asleep aware of his presence. That begins with prayer. And don’t pray only for yourself. Sometimes it seems as though God is keeping me awake just so I can pray for the people he brings to mind.

Music. Music helps pull my mind from wherever it is to look at God and offer tranquil worship as I rest on the truth shared beautifully in the lyrics. Some of my favorite restful songs include Fall Afresh by Jeremy Riddle, Come Thou Fount performed by Kings Kaleidoscope, Surely Goodness, Surely Mercy by Shane and Shane, Far Too Wonderful by Shane and Shane, Sweet Hour of Prayer performed by Casting Crowns, and Captain by Hillsong (feel free to check out my sleep playlist on Spotify). Pick some songs that encourage and calm you and play them quietly when you’re having trouble sleeping. (You do have to be careful that you don’t train yourself to rely on music to fall asleep.)

Psalms. I’m a bit over the moon about the book of Psalms (which may be part of why I cannot recommend the entire Psalms Vol. II album by Shane and Shane enough; seriously, go look the album up and listen to Lord of Hosts – Psalm 46 first). The Psalmists knew how to commune with God, and they understood the dearness of intimacy with the Lord of Hosts. Turning on a lamp and slowly reading some Psalms draws me back to the God of peace.

Meditation. Take advantage of the opportunity to meditate on Scripture or work on whatever passage you are currently memorizing. Remember that this is the mightiest of swords we’re talking about here; there is no foe that can withstand the words of God. So use the Sword; make it part of your heart, mind, and soul. There are few better uses of your sleeplessness.

All these things help me, and I hope they help the restless of you too.

Do you struggle with insomnia? What do you usually do? What would you add to my list?

With love,

Rosalie

P.S. – did anybody notice that these four suggestions in this order make “P.M.P.M.”. Which is kind of swanky since we sleep at nighttime which is called “The P.M.”. Just sayin’.

P.P.S. – also, extra points to me for taking a picture of my meager seaglass collection and randomly throwing it up on the ol’ blog for a post on sleeplessness. #winning